As I flopped onto my bed, I felt relieved. I mean, I love their company, but it's still quite a shock for me and I do need time alone to just think.
I lot of things went through my mind. Firstly, I was nervous about school. I don't exactly have any happy school memories, and school has always been a torture for me. I actually do like the learning part of school, but it's the break and lunch time that I dread. The classmates are usually OK to me when there's a teacher around, but they get nasty after the teachers leave. Oh well. I could always hide in the bathroom or something.
And there was also the issue of 'keeping everything a secret'. I'm sure I could keep my mouth shut, but what's the point? I mean, one day people are sure to find out that a girl is living with the famous One Direction. Actually, if it were me, I'd never have adopted in the first place. If the boss says no, I'd listen to the boss. Since I was little, I couldn't bear anyone telling lies. I just couldn't. It's just wrong for the boys to lie to their boss. They should just tell the boss about me and if the boss still forbids it, they should return me to the orphanage. That's the way to become an honest person.
Oh, what am I saying? Of course I don't want them to return me to the orphanage! OK, I'll admit it, I'd rather lie to the world then go back to the orphanage. Not exactly a tough choice. But the other side of my brain keeps telling me to always be truthful. Ugh! Why do human minds have to be so complicated?
I buried my head into my big fluffy pillow, and forced myself to think of something else. Oh yeah, the shopping trip. I was actually quite looking forward to it. I've never ever shopped in my life, and I've always listened wistfully to the girls at school talk about buying brand-new clothes and phones. I wondered if the boys would get me a phone. I certainly hope so. It'd be so cool to be able to talk to someone miles away whenever you want to. Owning a book would be cool too, I thought. Just sitting quietly while reading about someone else's perfect life would be quite relaxing. Oh, and a notebook! I'd definitely want one to write my stories in. I began listing out the things I needed in my head. Some tops and jeans, a big coat for winter, shoes, textbooks for school, pens and pencils, a phone, probably a bag...oh, and a mirror. The list when on and on. I shuddered. I didn't want to make the boys broke. I revised my list. Just one top and one pair of jeans should be OK, and I don't really need a new bag. Ditto a phone. Or a mirror, in that case. I slowly fell asleep, those items still going round and round my mind. As I fell into deeper sleep, my dream slowly changed...
A man was advancing on me, holding a belt up threateningly. He swung the belt around, still coming closer. I crouched on the floor, curled up like a ball and whimpered, frightened out of my mind.
"Please, no!" I whispered, curling up even smaller, but he kept coming closer. "Please, don't hurt me..."
It happened in an instant. He swung the belt down onto my neck and the metal part hit me hardly, leaving a deep cut. He kept doing this over and over again, and the cut on the back of my neck grew deeper and deeper. I cried out loudly, placing my hand near my neck and feeling a flowing stream of blood. I was dying, but I wanted to live. I tried dodging the belt, but I was too weak. I lost too much blood. I opened my mouth to yell, and the scream went on and on...
"Passion, wake up! PASSION!" My eyes flew open at the sound of Liam's voice. His hand was on my shoulder, shaking me. I sat up, shivering, my hand still pressed against my neck. There was no blood now.
"What happened, are you OK? You were screaming so loudly!"
It took some time for me to come back to reality. So that was just a dream. Or rather, a memory. I could still feel the scar of the cut on the back of my neck. My hands were all sweaty, and tears were streaming down my face.
"It's...nothing. Just a bad dream...My dad..."I choked out the words. I didn't want to tell Liam the story, but once the words were out I couldn't stop.
"My dad, he was hitting me, with a belt, my neck, blood, hurts..." I sobbed uncontrollably as I recalled the dream. "I was dying, he didn't stop..."
Liam sat down on my bed, putting his arms around me and holding me protectively. He whispered soothing words at me, and I got calmer. We just sat there in that position for 20 minutes before Liam got up slowly.
"Go back to sleep now, you're safe here." He whispered and left the room.
I slowly drifted back into sleep, dreaming about getting adopted and weirdly, thick wooly socks. Then suddenly, my father and the belt appeared in my dreams again. I woke up, screaming and shaking. The nightmare was so real. I could actually feel my terror and pain.
In no time at all, Liam was by my side again. He hugged me tightly, and I sobbed on his shoulder.
"It's alright, love, I'm here, no one's going to hurt you." He whispered into my ear, rocking me gently. "Your dad won't come back, no one's going to hurt you."
But I was so scared, the dream was real, I could feel it. No one could understand how terrified and insecure I felt at that time. I held on to Liam, afraid that if I let go, my father would come back. Slowly, my tears ran dry.
"Liam?" I said after an hour of silence. "Could you stay here with me tonight? I can't sleep on my own..."
"Of course, love." Liam said.
He tucked the covers over both of us and I snuggled close to him, feeling much safer. Liam stroked my hair gently, but his fingers came across the scar on my neck. He fingered it slowly, and I shivered. He looked at me.
"The dream wasn't just a dream, was it? It did happen before." He said softly.
I nodded. He would find out sooner or later. Besides, I really don't lie.
"We're here for you now. Everything else is the past. We'll never let anyone hurt you. This is your new life now. From now on, everything will be different."
Liam gently kissed me on the top of my head, and we fell asleep.
