MIAMI LOVE: Loving A Thug

Numb

I opened my eyes , everything was still blurry, i saw a figure standing in front of me , pacing back and fourth... It was kionni.

"Oh my gosh baby" she ran over to me and hugged me tighter than she ever had .

"your awake"she whispered...

I looked up at her still trying to put together all the pieces of what happened.

"?, wheres Vonte? Most importantly wheres my mom ?'', i looked down i felt pain coming from underneath my shirt , i lifted it but the bandages covered the damages that were done.

"vonte left, hell be back... he said that a stray bullet hit you while you guys were out .."

i shook my head ... thinking to myself ... why did he lie about happened?

"oh" i said , looking down at my bandages.

"and my mom?" i asked.

Kionni looked at me ..."she never showed face"...of course she didn't i thought to myself.

"the hospital called Dante picked up ..but he hung right back up."

"asshole" i sneered.

i moved my legs to the side of the bed , and tried to get up but the pain was so bad i couldn't even move another inch. i gave up before i could even swing my other foot over the edge of the bed . i sat back and breathed in and out like i had just finished running a track marathon . Just then the door to my hospital roomed opened , Vonte slid in and shut the door , when he made eye contact with me he looked like he had just seen something he didn't wanna see , like he hadn't expected me to be awake. He directed his eyes to the floor , a part of me was happy to see him but the rest of me felt like he had betrayed me and kept secrets ..and i wanted no parts of that .

kionni looked at him and then she looked at myself , i think she could feel the tension between the two of us .

"im gonna go .. to the cafe, you want anything ?" she asked

"Yeah , just a juice "i stopped to think ...

"whered you get money from " i asked as she was walking out the door . She held my debt card in the air and ran out the room before i could say anything else . i laughed just a little ... i looked at Vonte ..he stood by the door and stared at me with the most sorry look in his eyes .

"im....." he stopped ... he walked forward and sat at the end of my bed .... "sorry"...

I didnt bother to make eye contact ...i stared at the blankets

"why " i asked ...i looked up at him

"im sorry beca---" he started but i stopped him ,

"no , not that ..why.. why didnt you tell me , why did you start talking to me when you knew that somebo---" he cut me off , he rose his voice .

"NO MAN, Dont ..Dont do that , dont act like you didnt know what came with this lifestyle !" he yelled , he got up off the bed and walked towards the window and gazed out .his face was mad .

"Excuse me ? you telling me this is my fault ? , " i damn near cried as i said the words .. how could he blame me ?

" Andrea you knew the dangers of dealing with me and you chose to anyways !'' he yelled again .. this time the tears came streaming down my face , and i felt my chest about to explode .

"YEAH?! , because i knew someone wanted you dead right? of course i fucking did!. because im a mind reader ! i stopped ... and i looked at him ...

"You should have just stayed the fuck in jail ..where you belong." i stopped myself ...

"Oh so Miss goody two-shoes thinks she knows everyhing huh? he laughed some.

"im not a bad guy !, you have the wrong perception of me .. i just have a past, its bitches like you always judging a brotha , when you dont know SHIT!" he hit the wall with his bare fist ...but not hard enough to hurt himself .

This was all unbelievable to me ...

i laughed ..and then i stopped ...

"leave" i said ... he looked at me ...in disbelief.. he started to walk towards me but i stopped him mid step ..

"leave " i said a little louder .

"Andrea...i"...

"LEAVE! " i yelled , i threw the teddy bear that was sitting my my bedside across the room at him. " go ! " i shouted ...

he stood there for a little while longer ...he played with his feet by scraping them against the floor .... and turned and started heading for the door ...

" i regret it..." he said ... "everything.... even not telling you ... i was afraid i wouldn't have a chance if i told you everything ... because brotha like me ....i just want to love a girl like you one day " he said as he opened the door...he slipped out just the same way he slipped in .. and then he was gone .

I waited a few seconds hoping he was going to come back in ..but he never did ...i sat there alone in the hospital bed , the light flickered and the AC vent roared through the silence ..more tears came and the numbness trailed down my body until i couldn't cry anymore . the room was silent and all i could hear was my own voice in my head consoling me .. i pulled the covers over my face and wiped my tears kionni hadn't came back yet..a part of me felt like she had heard the conversation, and didn't come in because she didn't know what to say ..i laid under the covers ..thinking...in this empty room ..

...all by myself ..

(two weeks later)

I starred at my phone hoping he might call me and tell me he was sorry , or maybe even to say hello ...we hadn't spoke since i woke up in the hospital ...i was sorta okay with that but i still felt like i deserved answers..and he just wouldn't give them to me. I texted him once but of course there was no response , no reply, no answer . He had left me out on a limb wondering and guessing what was going to become of us ... of course at the time we are nothing , he hadn't even called to make sure i was recovering well...he could've did that much, i wondered if he was thinking about me just as much as i was thinking about him .

I lied to my mom about what happened ... i don't know why.. it wasn't like i was trying to protect Vonte or anything .. or was i?... My mom took the keys to my car just so i wouldn't be tempted to go out , she told me she was too scared to lose me or be in the position where she felt like she might again , i didn't even mention the fact that her stupid man hung up when the hospital called, its not like it would have made a difference in the world to her . Sad to say.

*knock-knock* i looked up , who the hell could be knocking on my bedroom door ? at 3am. i opened the door a crack and not to my surprise it was kionni.. she had a look of helplessness on her face ... i looked down at the floor she had packed an over night bag...for the weekend it looks like. she only does that when her aunt gives her a hard time .. so i didnt even bother asking her what was the issue because in my heart i already knew. I moved to the side so she could make her way through and shut my door . She sprawled across the bed and starred up at the ceiling , I sat in the chair across from her .
"Wanna talk about it ?" I asked .
"Mmmmm.... nah, same ol stuff " she said looking at me .
I looked off ... thoughts of Vonte were clouding my mind again . And in the middle of the silence she broke it.
"He misses you" she said ...
I looked at her in confusion ..
"Who vonte? , he said that " I asked .
She shook her head
"No"
"But he didn't need too. I can read him " she said .
I laughed , " okay " I said to myself.
"It's true, I can tell" she said .
"He doesn't even know me , he just ...thinks he does ".. I replied .
"Besides he hasn't even called me so he couldn't miss me." I threw in.
"Well besides him ..when will you be back at school " she asked in a hopeful tone.
" tomorrow , I think I've mastered walking in crutches enough in these two weeks" I said.
"Where's your mom" she questioned .
I threw my hands up in the air , I couldn't even tell her if I wanted too. She was never here anyhow , she lived her own life away from me.
" don't even know why I ask" she said .
"Exactly " I nodded .
I kicked my feet up and sat back and watched the fan 1...2....3 ....4 blades spinning round and round non stop .