ArcKnight (The ArcKnight Chronicles #1)

Chapter Twenty

Ephrem

"Hold on." I kissed the top of Lily's head and headed for the bedroom. Our bedroom. It was surreal to think that she was here with me for the long haul. Her banishment was a cruel twist of fate, but to be told it was a permanent situation made me realize some things happened for a reason. This thing between us could actually work. Her and I. I intended to marry her, banishment be damned. She was my mate, and I felt it down deep inside that it was the only thing that was real. It was everything.

"What are you doing?" Lily called after me. I had a surprise for her, and I didn't want her to see what I'd gotten until the last minute. I'd spent hours looking for it, but when I finally found it, I knew it was perfect.

"Hang on. You have to promise to close your eyes before I come back in," I requested.

Her moans made me confident she was listening. When I returned, I relished watching her with her eyes closed. Her face was twisted in frustration, but the stress from before was gone. It was a different concern etched across her face, but I wanted to make it all go away. Even though she'd protest and I knew that I could face permanent banishment from the MarkTier Outlands Legion, I didn't care. I'd risk it all for her. She was worth every one of the consequences.

"What is it? You're killing me here!" Her hands waved in the space between us, and I clasped my free hand over one of her wrists.

"Patience, my love." I bent forward and kissed her impossibly soft lips, gently at first, but with increasing pressure and urgency. Her mouth was sweet like candy, and I couldn't get enough of it. I had to force myself away, for I knew if I kept going, I'd never stop.

She was a drug that stirred my most primal needs.

"Okay." I settled next to her and held up the box. "Open your eyes."

She obeyed. Her eyes first met mine and then slowly slid down to the small velvet box in the palm of my hand.

"What is it?"

"Open it."

She hesitated, glancing from my hands to my face, a glint of exhilarated fear dancing in her pupils. I held my breath as she reached over and plucked the box from my grasp. Anticipating what was to come, I said a silent prayer to get the reaction I craved from her. In my heart, I knew it was what I really wanted, and I couldn't wait to see her joy from my gift.

The dark velvet box clicked open in her fingers, and she stared at the contents with increasing wonder. Moments passed as she continued to study the item. I could no longer hold my breath, and I exhaled slowly, waiting impatiently.

"Lily?" I asked. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had to know what was running through her mind.

"Mm?" she answered, still staring at the box, entranced.

"I know things haven't turned out how you imagined them, but I know, deep inside in my heart, that I want us to be together, always. Will you marry me?"

Finally, she flicked her eyes up to me, as though she hadn't heard a thing I'd said. Her face was pale, fading from the flushed pink it'd been a moment before. It wasn't the reaction I'd expected, but I had to remember that nothing Lily had done since the trial was what I'd predicted.

She'd gotten a job at the diner, not the bookstore, where I thought she'd like it better. It would've been a quiet place where she could work in a pleasant atmosphere, but she'd chosen the chaotic mess at the diner. Granted, it was a well-oiled machine and would keep her busy, but I couldn't quite pinpoint why she'd want to be there. She wasn't entirely unrecognizable to the public, but her hair wasn't the same color as before, and the media were forbidden to seek her out in the city, so she was pretty much left alone. The only thing I could figure was that she wanted the stimulation. Something to exhaust her so she didn't have to think about the unpleasant in the middle of the night.

Nothing like passing out cold to keep yourself from being run ragged over by thoughts you can't do anything about.

"Lily?" The silence was maddening, but she was lost in her head as she turned the ring with her fingers to let the light catch on each of its facets. "Are you all right?"

She nodded and replaced the ring into the tiny black box without trying it on. She snapped the lid shut and held it out to me.

"I love you, Ephrem, but I can't marry you right now. I'm sorry. I want to. Really, I do. I've never felt this way about anyone, but the timing is all wrong."

She pressed the velvet box into my hands and got to her feet. Folding her arms, she walked to the window and stood staring out into the street. It was raining again, as it usually did in Temple, and the raindrops played a shadowy dance across her pretty face. Her brown eyes shined against the muted daylight seeping through the gray clouds. They flitted across the scene down below, and I fought against the feeling of crushing disappointment in my stomach.

Sucking in a deep breath, I stood.

"Take all the time you need. I'm here for you. You know that, right?" I joined her at the window and slipped my arms around her svelte body. It fit into mine like a puzzle piece. We were meant for each other, she had to know this. I knew it down to my marrow that it was true. The question was, did Lily know it too?

I hoped she did. I needed her to, but I wasn't the kind of guy who would force something on a woman. She'd have to come to me with an open heart and mind, willingly. Right now, her mind was closed up, watertight.

"I'm so sorry, Ephrem. I don't even know why I feel like I need more time. It's just... everything happened so fast. I don't even know who I am out here in the Outlands. Princess Lilliana is gone forever. All I'm left with is a bunch of broken pieces scattered about that I have to pick up all by myself. I know you want to help, but it's something I need to do for myself. I love you, but I need to find out who I am now, without the royal part of it all. Who am I now?"

"You're still you. Just because you don't live in the palace anymore doesn't mean you can't be who you are. Nothing changes that. You're still here, and you're a strong woman. You'll get through this."

"I know." She sighed, reaching up to hold her forehead. I hoped I hadn't caused her a headache. For all I knew, she had been thinking about her life since the trial almost every waking moment. I didn't want to add to the stress of that transition. "It's just, I've always known where my life was headed in the palace. Out here, it's all foreign. The future has never looked so murky."

She waved her hand in the air venting her frustration. I understood, and yet I didn't. I'd have to let her do what she needed to, so I kept silent.

"I'll be back soon," I said. I threw on my guard's belt and pulled my back scabbard over my head. The familiarity of the sheathed sword resting against my back helped steady my emotions. With nothing more to do, I turned to her and pulled her closer to kiss her goodbye. "I'll see you later?"

She nodded and gave me a weak smile. I hoped my proposal wouldn't continue to give her any more anxiety. I'd wait for her forever. I'd already waited years. What's a few more?