Our New Life

1

Whew. The tomatoes were growing like crazy this year, but the melons were suffering. What was I doing wrong and what exactly was I doing right? Maybe the melons just weren't destined to thrive. As I was left scratching my head at my dilemma, I heard my wife gently calling my name.

"Lisa? Honey? Babe, the pie's done!" Stephanie stood by the patio door, grinning at my all-consuming confusion about the plant situation. Her tight black curls blew slightly in the breeze as she waited for me to come. I jumped up from where I was crouching in the garden and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek as I passed into the kitchen.

Our small farm house wasn't glamorous and damn well wasn't perfect, but it was our home. Our chickens clucked and waddled around the yard, searching for bugs. Our black lab curled up on the living room carpet, preparing for another nap. Our cat sat on the couch, softly licking his paw. The breeze filtered through the screens on the windows, and the birds chirped merrily from the trees. All was right in the world.

We sat down at our creaky table, more than ready for a slice of Steph's homemade blueberry pie. As she dolled out slices to both of us, she lightly, almost inaudibly, said, "Your father called today, Lisa."

I damn near choked on that pie. My mouth full, but my brain too in shock to consider manners, I replied, "What?!" My brain felt rattled by the sudden news, "I'm surprised that bastard is still able to speak with his brain being only half-functional."

I was surprised when I saw that her eyes were glassy instead of filled with laughter. Her hand instinctively reached up to the small ruby necklace I gave her. A sour feeling oozed into my gut. She only did that when she was nervous. "Stephanie?"

"He just wanted you to know that..." She placed her hand fidgeting with the gem over mine. "That your mother is sick. And he's not sure if there is too much time before her."

It was a sickening blow to the gut. All of the air in my body was squeezed out by the python wrapped around my chest. Fuck.

Fuck him. He knew this was coming. He's an idiot, but he's not blind. Douchebag. And her. She turned her back on her only child, the person most needing of her bottomless love. Now she's the one that needs others. Needs me. Well, fuck that. Fuck them.

Wasps buzzed in my mind, angry and vibrant, taking all my pleasant thoughts and filling them with dangerous poison. Big, fat, angry tears ran down my face. She's going to be gone and I'll never have the chance to redeem myself. I'll never get my loving, warm mother back. This is all my fault.

Stephanie wrapped her arms around my quivering body. Sobs came and the tears became more intense. Everything I've bottled up, all the things that haunted me most, came out.

"I love you, Lisa. You are going to get through this." Stephanie held me close and for a fleeting moment, I felt something resembling peace. But the image of my mother's tombstone popped into my brain and that went out the window. This situation is fucked. I'm not gonna get through this.