So, This 'chapter' of whatever you call this is going to be mainly about.. (see above.)
** I'm changing the name of my friend, and am not posting the Youtube Station Name.**
-- unless she consents.
So, I was going through a bunch of youtube videos today, and came across this station that had one of my friends on it. I knew she had this station, but I didn't know her name, so when I came across her, naturally I had to stalk every single one of her videos. (You know you do that when you find someone you know on Facebook, if you can't relate to what I did.) This soon became very, very hard for me once I actually read the top bar and found out that she had 74 videos. usually 10-15 minutes long. When i saw that, i was like HA. no.
So anyways, I started browsing by title. And this particular friend of mine - let's call her Jaz.- has been battling depression and suicide for about two to three years now. I came across this video about the war going on inside of her, and watched it. I couldnt help but thinking how.. strong. and how, for lack of a better term, ballsy she was to post this video. She talked about why she tries to kill herself, and how this problem she has came along.
which brings me to my point in this section. -- Bullying.
I know that every single one of you, at one point in time or another has had this talk. The "Don't Bully" talk, right? In school we have it every year. Because people just don't get it. Hell, My own administrators don't get it. I can't speak for yours, but mine just don't. They go around the school giving these talks because they are required. Not one of them try to get their point across. They make their powerpoint and drone on and on about something that you can tell they think is a waste of time. --you can tell this because they don't care that every child (yes, CHILD.) is asleep.
But I'm the one kid in the school that does. that pays attention to the statistics spilling out of their mouth:
-160,000 Kids skip school every day to avoid bullying.
-1 out of 4 teens are bullied.
-1 out of 3 students report that they've heard someone being given a death threat.
-Cyber Bullying stays there forever.
etc., etc., They always just go on and on and on. But why don't we believe them? I mean, everyone of us has experienced bullying at one point. Bullying is anything from telling someone they're ugly, or making a snide comment about something that hurts their feelings, to the stereotypical "Give me your money!" scene and physical pushing around and beating. So everyone's experienced it. Maybe we do believe them. Maybe we know what they're saying is true and it's a big deal.. but we just don't CARE. People get hurt by what we do.
In fact, you should feel special. Take pride in knowing that every. single. thing. you say, someone listens to. Someone takes to heart. Someone thinks is about them. Someone gets hurt over.
I know what you're thinking. "Maybe people shouldn't be so sensitive. Maybe people shouldn't take everything so personal. "Maybe people should just lighten up and take a joke."
Okay, Well let's look at it this way: Has anyone ever made a comment about how it stinks in the area you're in? Regardless of the amount of people in that area, you think they mean you. Have you ever been walking with a friend and a group of people behind you start laughing hysterically, and they're automatically laughing about you? Has anyone ever complained about people being "fake, ugly, weird, obnoxious," or "gross" when you were near? You take it to heart, right? Well. Maybe you don't. Maybe you do. Maybe you just won't admit it. You don't want people knowing you get hurt over stupid things, right?
I'll step up. I'll admit that it's me they say smells, me they are laughing at, me who's fake, ugly, weird, obnoxious, and gross in their eyes. I feel like that all the time. peoples statements that aren't even directed at me hurt me. They cut right to the heart.
So why do we still do it? I use the word we, because even I, the one who hates that people bully, do it without even knowing it sometimes.
Why would we hurt someone else when we know it hurts? Why would we want to inflict the pains people give to us on other people? It seems the opposite of logic. Logic would be to try and better yourself, to make sure you don't hurt people because you know what it does. you Know how it makes you feel. You know what it makes people think.
Sometimes our bullying even leads people to suicide. Sometimes we make people feel worthless, hopeless, like they're nothing. Sometimes we hurt people so much that they think the only way to deal with the pain is to just die and get rid of it all.
.. Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why?..
Well, if you haven't, go do it now. It's one of the best books I've read this year. And if you don't agree with me, so be it. But i'll swear by it.
Basically it's about this girl who records tapes for thirteen people -- the thirteen people she says are the most responsible for her suicide. And In this book, she talks about this "snowball effect".
The Snowball Effect is the idea that everything we say is an activation. Its the first thing that leads to a series of events. It's like those cable commercials that start out with you not having cable, and they explain their train of thought so far till they get to the end of something like you get hit by a car or you end up in a Cuban drug bust.. Seriously, who thought of those? .. but anyway, It's this idea that everything said has a reaction. Things like putting someone's name on a list for the "Most likely to.." in the yearbook, or giving someone something as simple as a nickname.
I don't want to spoil the book, so that's all i'll say about it for now, but seriously-- go read it. buy it and start a book circle where you pass it along to different people and they read it too.
So anyway, we have this snowball effect on eachother. I say something about your clothes being bad. someone else says something about it too so you try to overcompensate and then something else gets said and soon you have rumors spreading as people talk about the way you look and not long after you have nicknames and a reputation, and then BAM. The main event comes along and you break. because people just don't get that they've got a huge impact on you, even though what they say/do is miniscule in the great scheme of life. When in reality, It can make all the difference.
... T.H.I.N.K before you speak. T- Is it thoughtful? H- Is it helpful? I- Is it inspiring? N- Is it necessary? and K-.. Is it kind?
.. Think.
