Chapter 1
Hello, Nice to meet you. My names Broken.
Well that's a lie my name isn't broken.
It's Lydia.
I have this problem with myself and everything around me. Meaning I have depression. But I don't like to label myself, If someone had A.D.H.D or O.C.D you wouldn't label them for that. It's almost like I am introducing myself as Depressed.
No, that's not what I am... I am broken. Which I think is a nicer way of saying Depressed. Now that I think about it that's kinda hypocritical. An my argument has now collapsed on itself.
I don't like people knowing I have this problem. Well I can't technically say that. Because well no one does know, but if people did I have a feeling I wouldn't like that.
I like to keep that to myself... An well just keep to myself in general. Not many people try to talk to me... Because I used to be best friends with the most popular girl in my grade, meaning she was pretty had perfect hair, listened to the latest music. And all... She wasn't always like that. Well she was always pretty, and well listened to music... I listened to the same music as her.
And yes sorry this might make no sense because technically what does music have to do with anything.
Well what happened was one day I was sitting in my room; and was listening to some random music of the Internet. I was looking for any random song title that sparked my interest, and I found one by a band called Thousand Foot Krutch the song was called This Is A Call.
So I listened to it and I instantly fell in love with it. So I played more songs by the particular band... And found I liked them quite a lot.
So fast forward
I showed a few of the songs to Milia. She told me they were weird. And that's completely fine I mean one band I'm okay if she doesn't like them.
What was the turning point for her was how I dressed. I had left for two weeks and in that time... I went shopping and got myself some clothing I liked. And when I came to school a couple days after I got home I wore it.
It was black combat boots with chains and studs on them,
A red and black plaid lose fitted muscle like shirt slightly see through,
Black imitation leather pants with zippers and a chain on it,
Black backpack that I sewed flags and other things on it,
And some black and red accessories.
When she saw me she didn't look impressed, as it was warm out and she was wearing:
White Shorts
White lose tank top with baby blue dots
White gladiator sandals
And a few gold accessories.
She told me that I looked a little over dressed for the weather.
I told her I was alright and she rolled her eyes and walked away.
I was highly confused because I was the same person just not dressed like everyone else.
I was listening to my headphones in class, she ran up to me and grabbed one and put it in her ear.
I had Pierce The Veil on, to say she looked scared would be an understatement. So she got up and walked away.
A few weeks later she stopped responding to my texts.
I asked a few days later if she wanted to hang out after school. I had started to feel not right lately, I was always sad, and I wanted to tell her, because she's well my best friend. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to the corner of the room and said
" Lydia, I can't be friends with you; I'm sorry but people have been talking noticing that you don't smile anymore... An hearing your music when you play it loud. And they say you dress weird. I mean when's the last time you wore a skirt? Or when's the last time you didn't have your makeup all black. When was the last time you wore an outfit without chains and studs? I know me not being around you is gonna make you sad but face it your weird and getting weirder, I hope you can find a way to not be sad without me."
She kinda pretty much told me my life is gonna suck without her.
So I said back to her
"You know what Milia, don't flatter yourself... Maybe I'm weird maybe I'm not but at least I'm me."
It hurt me so much to hear those words from her, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry. After I said what I said I walked away. I walked right out the front door of the school, and walked around the back and threw the back gate into the small clearing there was about ten minutes walking from the back gate there is a line of trees that leads into a small set forest.
I walk to where the forest begins. I continue going about another ten minutes; till I get to a group of tress that happen to be slightly more packed together then the others. I have been here countless times. There's about three tress all semi circled to meet with a rock, it's about a 6 by 5 area it fits two people comfortably but could probably hold four if you don't have boundaries.
I slip through an opening and lean against the rock, I pull out my iPod and just put my head phones in my ears and after I put on my sad playlist, but I don't cry. I am honestly to tired, I'm to tired to cry I'm to tired to be angry. I'm completely and truly to tired to even be tired... So I sleep.
My last thought being... I deserve this... Because I'm weird.
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New story, deleting the others.
Hope you like it.
~Shay
