due to current events, i'm going to talk about something dark. and if you don't understand it, then fantastic! you can just move on, and avoid reading this chapter completely. but if you understand, then i'm so sorry. i wouldn't wish this state of mind on my worst enemy.
i know what it feels like. to feel worthless. to feel like absolutely nothing. i get it. but you're not worthless, you aren't nothing. and i know that you're inner demons are going to crawl up from from the deepest parts of your thoughts and deny what i'm saying completely, but please listen. please believe me.
you are so strong. you can get past this. so many people have. i know you can, too. you are worth so much. to your parents, your friends, your relatives, your teachers. and every one would miss you if you let your demons win. you can't do that, okay? you cannot let those bastards win.
i want you to take a deep breath. count to four, and hold it. release. just breathe. you're doing great. you need to breathe. don't stop breathing. now, grab something you love. it can be a picture, a stuffed animal, a shirt, a cd case, a blanket, whatever makes you happy. keep breathing. hold this thing that you love close to your chest. hold it like you're never going to let the damn thing go. breathe.
take another deep breath, and say something you love about yourself. you can say it out loud, you can just whisper it, so only you can hear. but say something you love about yourself. it can be about your appearance, or it can be about your personality. or it can be about your music taste. anything that you love about yourself. say it out loud.
don't forget to breathe.
now pick up your phone, or whatever you use to contact people. call your mom, your best friend, your cousin. someone that gets you. tell them that you love them so much. because they love you. i love you.
and don't wipe away your tears if you're crying. crying is not weak. everyone cries. and crying helps. take it from me, someone who can barely feel anything.
now do something that you love. eat ice cream. cuddle your dog/cat/pet. watch a movie. sing a song. listen to your favorite album, or artist. whatever make you happy, whatever makes you feel whole.
and don't forget to breathe.
