How could I think love was this simple? She was my first girlfriend, I was already in a shitty year of my life. Her name was Mary;went by Katy because Kathryn is her middle name. Who the fuck cares right? Well I do...
Our first kiss was on a cold January day, maybe two weeks after we started dating on the fith .. I had never kissed a girl before, so as I'm sure you can imagine I was terrible. I had just given her my favorite jacket. I actually stole it from my older brother who was in Arizona for college. He's important but back to the kiss. It's red with earphones in the strings. She still has it even though we broke up last Monday. But I'm six foot one give or take and she was maybe five six. So we're standing there behind a "Kings" she's on the curb because of the previously mentioned, and I'm hugging her for my own warmth. All of the sudden I look in to her eyes, all I can see is just true fucking beauty staring me in the eyes. The next thing I know she's kissing me, one of the ugliest fuckers in the eighth grade, I'm absolutely stunned and I at first had that expression from the movies where the eyes open up wide. Then I got in to it but it was for about four seconds. I said I was sorry for being bad. And she said we can always take a second chance and practice. She had the cutest look on her face.. One that could make a man fall in love with over and over. I of course said yes right? Well no I said no one of the worst decisions of our relationship..
Sorry to jump around but now it's like the fith of June. She broke up with me because I hurt her by not answering if I was okay with her waiting until marriage fast enough. Which is my fault.. But I wanted to before she brought it up I just didn't know what to say I was scared... I don't want a relationship that is all boyfriend girlfriend I want a relationship that is friend friend girlfriend boyfriend if that makes sense.. We were suppose to be just taking a break but she decided against that because I said I wouldn't get help... Because I wanted to die sometimes but only when I felt like shit and was alone. Now she's probably over me and I hope she reads this and takes me back at some point. Not that this is something that is worthy of that after I hurt her so much and this has nothing to do with anything but the point is I love her... I just feel like she is the right girl for me and I pray that she'll take me back.. Sometime I don't care when.. I just want to marry her I am truly in love...
