Regrets

Chapter 1

The three stood, still as a statue. The shock of my words still setting in. The realization of what had escaped my mouth was slowly crawling onto their faces. Even the doctor, mouth wide open, so wide that I wouldn't be surprised if a fly or two flew in.
My hesitant cough broke the silence but no one moved. It was as if the world had frozen, and it had effected everyone but me.

My eyes darted around the room, searching for something to change the subject with. Maybe if I started talking then the small family would break out of this trance. Oh why is this happening. I feel awkward as it is not knowing who anyone is. I thought to myself.

Fortunately, my prayers were answered when the shy voice of the girl filled my ears.
"Mummy, why doesn't she remember us?" She inquired, looking up to said mother with glistening eyes, desperate for the words that told her everything was fine, that it was just a cruel dream that she would soon wake up from.
The lady questioned looked over to me, then to the doctor, who was shifting from left to right, wondering when to give the family all of the information they needed, then to her daughter.
"I don't know sweetheart. But don't worry, everything will be ok I promise you, it'll all go back to normal and we will be happy again." She stated. Even though she spoke calmly, there was fear and sadness in her warm, brown eyes, and it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself more than anything.

After what seemed like a year, but was most likely only a couple of minutes, the doctor spoke up. The atmosphere of the room was tense and the cold silence made me shiver.

"It seems to be a case of amnesia. I'm afraid she doesn't remember much, there seems to be severe head trauma. There's no telling when she will receive her memories back or if they will return at all. I'm sorry, the best you can do it sit down and talk about anything and everything. See if she remembers.
I'll send the nurse in to check on her first and then i'll leave you to it. Good luck."

The doctors words hit like a truck. This family was probably one that I was part of. The crash must've been worse than I thought. All I could feel was the waves of reality, crashing down onto the rocks that were my mind. I broke down inside for this family that was non-existent in my memories. The pain they must be going through. No words can describe how they must feel.
The wise words of the father took me away from my thoughts. He sounded surprisingly relaxed, although I guessed it was to reassure the others.
"Don't worry everyone. Our top priority right now is to make sure that she is okay. We don't want her dying out on us whilst we talk. Let the kind nurse check everything and then we can sort it all out. It's not the end of the world. Even if the old memories are gone then we can make newer, happier ones. You know what they say; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." He ended his speech with a small smile, and as the nurse left the room, they gathered around my bed.
The mother set her child onto her lap, a small comment on her bony bum and that was that. The man stood behind the chair, running his hands through his wife's maroon locks.

I have to admit, I felt awkward. It was like meeting your boyfriends ( or girlfriends ) parents for the first time and not knowing what to say. What if i say something wrong? What if I upset them even more?-not really sure that's possible though. What if I speak out of turn, I've forgotten any house rules from before anyway.
I hadn't realized it but I soon began to tremble, my heart rate increasing and a sob rising up my throat. Tears threatened to spill but I made sure to keep them away.
The family began to rush around me, panic evident on their faces, the little girl stood, after being taken off her mothers lap, on the floor, her thumb in her mouth, her only source of comfort at the moment.

After the nurses rushed back and helped me back to normal, they gave me a pill to help me sleep better. I wasn't sure whether i'd be having nightmares or not but I guessed the chances weren't low.
I did feel bad for the three but, had they been me in that situation, a good rest was the only thing that could improve my mood.
As I let myself be controlled by the pill, I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep, my last thoughts being to push my mind until all was remembered and I no longer caused any pain.

Hours later, me slumber was interrupted by the crash of thunder and the shower of rain outside my window. Every few seconds there would be a flash of light through the thin, linen curtain. It was strangely comforting to know that England was still the same; rain and storms, cloudy with a chance of rain -my favourite weather.
I was alone but it didn't bother me. In fact it made me happier. Someone talking to me was the last thing I wanted.
For a second, I seemed to forget where I was. It made me think deeper about hospitals. A place where people go, a place that you learn of your fate, whether you will live or die. However, I was, once again, interrupted by the crack of thunder. Only this time it was accompanied by the creak of my door opening and the sound of footsteps approaching my bed. A hand covered my mouth and I soon knew no more.

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A/N:
That's it, 1,000 words. I do actually feel quite disappointed with this chapter. Having not planned out any of the story (except the prologue ) didn't help and since I wrote this at midnight didn't help. I have been quite busy lately so I just wanted to get this chapter done so I didn't have to worry but know that I have written it, I'm afraid of where I'm leading the story and how it'll end, or if i'll end up finishing it at all, lets hope I do. Goodbye until next week.

Miinjii~