Nyctophilia

sleep

When I was younger I never wanted to go to sleep -

Just as any child who wants to stay up late to be an 'adult'.

But I hated sleep for reasons more uncommon.

I used to cry because every time I tried to sleep I would see 'snake eyes'

You know, those moving shapes of all different colours that appear when you shut your eyes?

My brain warped them causing me to fear the paradise I could only dream of enjoying

I was terrorised by my own thoughts which would only increasingly become more vicious

I'm not alone anymore

Childhood fears and disorders will shape you

And often ruin your life

Every time I try to sleep

I can't breathe

I can't feel

I can't move

I hear screams

I see things

Sleep paralysis is deadly

So I can only wonder how long I'll last