Highschool Does {Not} Suck

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Dear Dad,

i used to think that middle school sucked. but then highschool happened. sure i made some friends and did well in all my classes but the periodic and ever occuring instances of scrutiny and humiliation made it almost completely unbearable. in those testosterone and estrogen drenched halls some of the most beautifully chaotic teenage episode occured. it was like a constant shakespearian play. 

im guessing that highschool wasnt much different for you. the only difference was that hippies roamed the halls and everything looked like that one circus part from across the universe. the only truly inspiring and intellectual film on our whole dumb planet. 

no matter how much i hated this disgusting hell hole you were always proud of me. whether it was for the barely passing grades or the fact that i was semi dating an almost proffessional baseball player, somehow i was better off than you and that made you happy. i can remember every instance you said you were proud but if you knew what was really happening you might not have been so proud. 

you see it was at my very first highschool party where i met the boy you love almost as much as marshall. Zachariah lynn Netton or the Nett as most of his friends like to call him. You called him zack. 

it was at one of those parties where i got drunk off my ass and sat on the roof of the house just to jump in the pool where that boy first noticed me. of course he may not have ever noticed me if he didnt have to jump into the pool and pull me out because some how in a drunkin stupor you cant remember how to swim. it was in that chlorine infested death trap where i first laid eyes on him. he was kind of cute i guess. shaggy brown hair and brown eyes and when he shook his head he reminded me of a chocolate Lab. 

"Are you alright?" he huffed as his muscular arms dragged me onto the concrete walkway beside the waters edge. 

i coughed and grabbed his abnormal rough bicep. "id be better if we didnt have such a crowd." i giggled and tilted my head to look around. the small lights were way too bright for my drunken eyes and my soaked clothes seemed awfully heavy. 

"you don't seem sober." he chuckled as he shook his head and began standing up.

"oh no dont do that. i cant join you up there." i lazily lifted my head a bit but laid it down when nausea wiped over me. 

the water on his clothes reflected some of the small moon beams so he looked like a shiny trinket or porcelain toy soldier. the slightly blue beams bounced off of his shoulders and into my tired eyes. he turned and looked around. only a few people were actually outside that night. It was a warm august evening but there seemed to be too many mosquitos for peoples liking. the tiny bloodsuckers never bothered me so i enjoyed the outdoors. he looked back to me and bit his lip before responding, "ill come back down there if you let take you home later."

my cheeks blushed and i was suddenly in a nervous and drunken state. "um...i...uh.."

his ears turned a tomato red, "no! no! i meant cause you dont seem very sober i thought you could use a ride home."

"oh," i was honestly a little disapointed. "yeah thatd be nice thanks."

he smiled and then began to lay down with me. with our backs pressed against the warm cement we barely talked. there were awkward pauses between the small awkward conversations about random school subjects and whose favourite color was better. he of course won because of his strange interest in the minty green blue of the pool light. we talked about how i was less articulate when i was drunk and how he sat behind me in three subjects. after what felt like an hour of lame topics of conversation my nausea subsided and he proceeded to take me home. which he didnt actually take me home. i had given him directions to alex's in fear of you being on the porch with a shot gun but as i aproached i realised you werent the one to fear. alex was the real one with the shot gun and thee terrifying expression. 

after that you became acoustomed to him unlike i ever became accustomed to Molly, your wife. i never liked your highschool sweetheart quite in the same way as you liked mine. its sad that mom was only a fling, well it was sad that the girl you really loved killed herself. i had only met mom once and it just so happened to be a week before the party.  you had given me her number in an attempt to make me like molly more but i think i just ended up liking her less. knowing she wasnt my mom and marshall was only my step brother, well that made me feel like a complete outsider, like i didnt even belong in my own skin so i messaged mom in an attempt to feel complete. 

what i got back was a shitty meal at a shitty diner in a shitty town. we had a shitty little conversation that consisted of her telling me all her families medical history but not to worry because cancer and diabetes skip two generations. she looked like a wild and and because of that i knew instantly why you loved her. she was the opposite of Molly.  she was a fresh of breath air in the uptight universe we dwelled in. 

so yeah dad i understand why you liked zack because i liked vanessa more than i will ever like molly and thats just something youll have to live with. 

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 05, 2018 ⏰

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