Mistakes• Ethan Dolan, Shawn Mendes & Charlie Puth

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im feeling like im at my lowest . i was lied about .and sure it happens to everyone but this one actually hurt me . i actually mightve lost the love of my life and yea i know sounds cliche but ive known the kid since 5th grade and i love him so much . but ill tell you what happened .now im just gonna use random names . so guy that i love is gonna be idk ben and his bestfriend is mat and im myself anyways.....

so me and ben were great friends before all this crap and we decided to fake date out of nowhere so id help him in his work he would do the same and we were like unbreakable . everyday was perfect he would hug me every morning and his cologne was amazing he made going to school something to look foward to. it was perfect he played basketball and so did i .everyday after school we would send pictures and be like "you're so cute"- taylor "you're so beautiful"-ben . i miss being called that you know ? anyways perfect fake relationship blah blah blah. the day before the last day of school which was my last day , everything was messed up . so mat his bestfriend, told him a lie about me saying i was a hoe and that i showed mat ben and i's conversation which was a complete lie .btw me and ben werent always clean people ;) lmao . anyways this was told during lunch and ben and i dont sit with eachother during lunch. so of course hes gonna talk shit saying that im a liar and he doesnt trust me and that hes pissed at me and saying shit and darius said that i sent him nudes WHICH WAS A LIE . but yea and my friend karla told me on this he was saying and i balled my eyes out for some reason but then i maned up and texted him and he said he never said anything and he told what he did say and i loved him so i believed him but i told him my part and if that happened he shouldve told me instead of talking shit at lunch. and we made up we sent our love yous and im sorrys and the hearts . and we were good a little awkward but we got over that awkwardness eventually. we were happy for a bit then mat came and told me ben showed him screenshots . so i didnt go off i simply asled ben if he did and he got all mad and defensive and started yelling at me through text . and we fought and i cried like a little bitch bc things were said that i regret. next morning i woke up and mat called me a bitch and a slut and a liar and i felt low i felt powerless bc i knew thats how ben felt too. so a couple weeks went by and i finally texted ben and he said he didnt know who to believe but i knew he believed mat but we were "friends" but i felt like we werent . so i went to his house one day because im close friends with his sister and his dog jake hates me so he holds him down when i come and leave . so i thanked him for holding him and he said he shouldve let him go and it got personal real quick . ialsed why he hates me and he said bc im a liar and i told him when mat turns on you im not gonna be there to hold his hand cause THIS WAS THE 3RD FUCKING TIME. so again were friends and its still a little bit awkward but not alot but mat still hates me and tells me that ill never get him and that im a hoe . typical of him. anyways today ben called me and said some wierd stuff i didnt understand but then i asked why he called me and he said bc he missed me. thats when everything came back .idk if hes joking or not . he goes to loving me to hating me to missing me . what do i even think rn ? hes hurt me so much yet i still have love for him in my heart and ik i shuld move on but i cant . its to hard and my ex bestfriend is all over him and her bestfriend is too its like sharing the same piece of meat. like no i would want all of it dumbasses. anyways im so confused (why do i keep saying anways lmaooooo) on why mat hates me i literally never talk to him and he stinks . and ben changed like ever since he became bestfriends with my ex bestfriend and her friend hes been acting like a bitch to me and to my frieend karla like she helped him with school work when it was tough and he called her fake and i wanted to punch him but i couldnt because we were texting . but hes a tough one and i miss our fake relationship more than anything . no matter your mistakes ill never go away and ik our love wasnt fake love (i literaly just noticed i put all my stories into a sentance right there^) but ill never let go of you and our memories . you made me smile and feel better about myself . you made all my insecurities go away while we talked. but i do regret fake dating you bc thats what made me develop feelings . even at basketball BEN YOU TREATED ME LIKE SHIT. and i really  hope the girl you like plays you how you did me so you know how it feels but i realize thats bad i shouldnt wish that but you sure as hell deserve it you broke me and you broke my trust and through all this arguing he always said i never had proof of him screen shotting ,and then i didnt and i still dont but recently i realized the reason why i dont have proof is because he has a snapchat hack and so does darius BUT I FIGURED IT OUT WHEN EVERYTHING WAS DONE . ill find someone dont worry . but thank you ben ,really for teaching me whos the real liar in this fight and it aint me . you thought you broke me but im stronger than you though sure ill always love you but your mistakes? tsk tsk tsk are to much for me . you were my bestfriend and at times my only friend and of course my fake boyfriend. i love you ben dont forget that and i know you still love me too but you hurt me to much for a second chance so im gonna TRY to move on .

you were all i needed

but i don't need you anymore

the pain is to much

so i'm leaving you ben

i hope you understand

i love you so much

i'm sorry 

i feel free now