Strange But Decent Art Book (3)

i'm such an idiot. why did i ever trust anyone

"Why do you want to kill yourself?"
Because I'm living in the same emotional cycle all over again. Go through a painful long period of regret, feel better, be happy, lose myself in my head, come back to reality, painful long period starts again.

I don't know how to be happy anymore. I want it to stop. I know I'd be leaving so many people behind, but they deserved better. I shouldn't have fallen for them, now they have the burden of me. I shouldn't have come here I just make people worry.

Release, that's all I want. I want the cycle to be over. I want to cut, drawing lines on my arm doesn't help. I feel better knowing that I've been punished for existing or feeling.

I just fucking hate myself.
I HATE MYSELF! SO FUCKING! MUCH! USELESS PIECE OF SHIT DIE! I JUST WANT TO DIE! THATS ALL I WANT! I WANT IT TO BE OVER! but im too much of a coward to do it. i want to be killed. i want to be killed.

i want to be run over, so its an accident. i want someone to push me off the cliff. i want someone to keep my head down in the water until you cant feel my pulse. you can say im into freaky shit. but i just want to die.

im tired of being lied to. it hurts so much. why cant you tell me the truth. im so tired of it. im a big girl, i can do it. i can hold it properly, and stab myself with it until i can reach in and pull at my organs, to assure im going to die.

she stops cutting but she will never stop dying.

im tired of daydreaming of what a happy future i could have if i just stopped being so useless. im such an idiot

crying is addicting. i cant stop, and i dont want it to stop. because when the tears roll down, all i wish for is for someone to wipe it off. for someone to look at me, and tell me that it'll be over soon.

ive been told not to listen to what they say. 

don't listen to them okay? okay.

PLEASE DON'T JUMP! WE'RE SORRY! PLEASE STOP! I LOVE YOU!

i didnt listen.

everything feels like a lie. everyone is a liar but im a huge liar. i want to die

You're worth it

that isnt what dad said

You're beautiful

mom never told me that

You're likable because you're great

my brother treated me like a sex toy

Everything will be fine

liar

i just want to be loved and respected, but that cant happen. not to me, everytime i hear i love you. it sounds so hollow. everytime i see people hugging, i break a little inside. everytime someone insults me, i agree.

i never knew you were capable of this!

you know now, push me off. push me off the cliff, angels can fly right? im not an angel, im a dissapointment.

i never deserved to live, make it stop, please