Rebuilding My Life

Chapter 1- The Beginning

-HAYDEN POV-

Never did I ever think it would come to this. This, ruthless, random shooting, so many innocent people being shot, just for being there. I cringed internally but stayed hidden as I heard another gurgled groan nearby, followed by a dull thud. I wanted to vomit, to just crawl into a hole and hide, but I pushed myself forward, my body mechanically following the order: shoot to kill.

“Would I ever see her again?” I wondered miserably, regretting the day I so eagerly joined the army.

Crouching painfully behind the wall, listening to the helpless, screaming in agony, war and chaos raging around me, I closed my eyes briefly, and reminisced about her

It was right after I signed up to help fight the war in the Middle East. My fiancée, Caitlyn, who was out for lunch with her girlfriends, was vehemently against my recruitment, and had refused to come with me.  Instead, Ashton, my best friend, came along. Together, we were both assigned to the shooter’s division. I had no idea what ran through my mind just a few short months ago, but I was excited to fight. I was young, fit, and had this insatiable urge to help protect my country.

I chuckled darkly, resurfacing from my memories. What a right fool I was, so sure I would return home safe. Now? I was not so sure. Focusing on my surroundings, I quickly assessed the area. It was eerily quiet. All fighting had ceased momentarily, and the medics from each side were running up to the wounded, helping them into safety. It was an unspoken rule that no one was to shoot the medical team. I admired them, willing to compromise their safety, and risk sacrificing their lives for us. Sure, us soldiers compromised our own safety, sacrificed our time, and possibly our lives, but we were pawns in the game, the art of war, nothing but killing machines. Silently, I saluted them for their bravery and courage, before turning to take inventory of the weapons, ammunition and food supplies.

 Ashton was lying next to me, breathing hard. I knew he was regretting this as much as I was. He had a wife, Sabelle, who, like my Caitlyn, was against his joining the army. I looked around discreetly, and spotted our General, General Levesque, who signaled us to be prepared to move out, and attack. Smoothly, Ashton and I worked together, packing everything and handing it over to General Levesque. All we had now were our guns, refills, and knives. Our entire team waited, tense with fear and anticipation.

He gave the signal, and we charged, catching the enemy by surprise, shooting coldly, unfeelingly, shooting to kill and not allowing any time for them to react. My brain was screaming at me to react to the people whom I had killed, as I watched them drop lifelessly onto the floor, but I had learnt early on it would be better to shut down, and just let your body do the work. It would have been perfect, except for one slip up. We missed the sharpshooter in the corner, and he fired three shots. One of those three shots found their way into my leg. My body froze instinctively, before my leg gave way, and I landed onto the dusty road. Ashton instantly stopped and helped me up, trying to pull me into cover. I yelled at him to leave, to save himself. He adamantly refused, and dragged me into the nearest building. Just as we closed in on the building, I felt Ashton freeze up, much like I did, before collapsing onto the cement floor, gasping for breath. I fell as well, his weight pulling me down. 

I looked into his eyes and knew without looking, that it was a shot very close to his heart. My best friend was dying, and it was my fault. Suddenly, everything became clear. He didn’t help me because he felt he had to. He did it because he wanted to. He willingly compromised his safety, sacrificed his life, just so that I’d make it home alive, even if it meant that he didn’t. He knew, better than I ever did, that he might not make it out of this war alive. I was the one so eager to fight, and he was paying the price for my foolish actions.

As I held onto his hand tightly, telling him I was sorry, he grinned, a bloody grin, and said, “Don’t be sorry. I’ll see you up in heaven bro. But take your time and don’t hurry. Take each day as if it was your last, and you’ll enjoy life to the fullest.” 

He gasped for breath again, and I watched, helpless, as the light in his eyes faded away. I closed his eyes and pulled away reluctantly, more determined than ever to survive this bloody war. I ignored the streaks of pain shooting up my leg and stood, gun ready to fire. He lost his life because of me. I would make sure it did not go to waste.