It starts as a whisper and gradually builds up. Humanity is known for its need for perfection, the need to feel wanted. The desire grows stronger and before you know it you can't breathe without it. What will make them like me? You wonder this endlessly and lose yourself in the process forgetting the world around you. Then comes the hard part to understand, you stop eating.
You know this makes people like you by being skinny that's what you've known all your life. When people look at you they are proud. Wow look how much weight you've lost. They don't know the war, they don't feel the pain of thinking your a failure if you take a bite. If you eat too much if you show even a sign of indulgence.
Finally, you're too skinny. People tell you you need help and what's wrong with you just stop. If it was that simple everyone would just stop drinking and smoking. It's like a drug you think you are in control. For the most part you are in control because the power you feel from restricting has blinded you into a hellish paradise. Do you feel pretty?
You are dying, but you keep pushing, climbing, levitating. Eventually, you crash and burn. Almost like a river that stops flowing. Are you wanted? Are you perfect? The fights over and you realize I can stop. There is nothing wrong with me.
You recover, but in the back of your head the voice is still there becoming a weed that infects your garden. You've gained to much weight back. You go to the therapy they've given you constantly and hang around a clique of people just like you spiraling back into the sweet torture. Everyone you know is disgusted, but in a way we are one in the same. You diet as much as I starve and cry about all your imperfections. We are both losing.
Do we hate anerexia, bulimia, and many other disorders because they are a horrifying product of what we do already? Does it show the sickness the truly spreads from all the fads and fashion models? Who knows it's just a disorder girls and boys use for attention right? Next time you say that go up to a heroine addict that can't quit and tell them they just want attention. We are spiraling and one day you will to. So I ask you again. Are you perfect? Are you wanted? Are you spiraling?
