It's been 2 years since that summer, and I've gone from being a girl that loved life to someone that didn't speak. It's not like I couldn't speak I just didn't see the purpose of doing so. I hated everything for a while. I hated Joshua, I hated my mom for not being by my side, I hated alcohol, I hated those stupid kids that invited Josh to the diner but most importantly I hated myself. I hated myself for not screaming loud enough, for trusting so easily, for not running fast enough, for not being strong enough.
All this lasted for a month in total. I hated everything for a month. It might not seem long to you but to me it felt like a year, like everything was going in slow motion. But soon after that month past I was over hating everything. I realized that I shouldn't hate myself because of what happened, instead I decided that what I needed to do was get back on my feet.
I don't know what happened, one night I was laying down on my bed watching Supernatural and the next morning I felt like a switch went off in my head. That I couldn't go on living life hating everything. It wasn't a way to live.
And most importantly it wasn't me.
Don't get me wrong, I was angry, and I still am. But I needed to have a purpose, to do something instead of sitting around and crying all night in my own pitiful silence. August 6th was the day I decided that I would get out of bed everyday and do something with my life. I joined boxing classes. I felt the need to learn how to defend myself, no more weak Anova. I wouldn't need anyone but myself and as long as I had myself, I would be happy.
This was also the day that I came to the conclusion that no one was worth being spoken to. Not that I was high and mighty but that people don't cherish friendships, they take it for granted. All you get from a friendship is broken trust and lies. Joshua taught me that. And ever since August 6th I haven't talked to anyone but myself.
Joshua never tried talking to me or contacting me. The boy didn't even look at me when I walked down the hallways in school. He got what he wanted, a seat at the popular table. And I guess it was all worth it to him because he is now one of the most loved and talked about people in school.
Me, on the other hand, I sit by myself at lunch, don't participate in class and keep to myself. People don't try and speak to me anymore, at first they did but sooner or later they realized that I wouldn't respond, so they stopped trying. I was labeled as the "freak who didn't speak".
Pretty basic, huh, being labeled a "freak".
YOU ARE READING
Shattered (on hold)
Teen Fiction"You left me there for dead! How could you do something so despicable and think of it as a joke? What type of joke was that?" I look at him, waiting for an answer to come any second now. But nothing leaves his mouth. "Answer me!" I yell at the top o...
