JOSHAM SORIANO
My friends came over to my crib for a jam. We usually play music in my room. We order pizza and buy chips and drinks.
Suddenly, this feeling crept inside me. I don't know how to describe it but I am really sure that this feeling is about Sadie again. It's like my soul has been flying away slowly from my body. Not exactly dead, though.
After playing Lego House by Ed Sheeran, we took a break and ate the food we bought. "Hey guys, I have something to tell you."
"Spill.", Carlos said.
"I want to end it up with Charlotte.", I confessed.
"We knew it all along. We know you so well, Josh. You don't have to lie to us. You still love her.", Felix said.
"Sadie never left your heart. And we know it's not easy.", Brent added.
"Whatever your decision is, remember that we're here for you. Dudes forever.", Felix continued as he bro-fisted me.
The next Sunday morning, I finally made my mind up. I invited Charlotte to a popular cafe downtown. We sat down at a table for two. She was dreesed casually, looking pretty as usual. Her doe-like eyes focused on me. She seems excited to hear what I want to say.
"Charlotte, I..."
Before I can say something else, our order came. I invited her to have a good munch first before my confession.
And so the time came.
"Charlotte, let's stop what we're doing.", I said.
She lifted her head up and looked at me. "What do you mean?"
"You and me. We should be friends. ", I replied.
"You still love her, do you?", Charlotte asked. She was never close with Sadie in the first place but she was close to me.
I nodded my head gently. I was expecting her to say some harsh words. I looked at her. Tears were rolling down her milky cheeks.
"I knew it. I'm only your savior. Some kind of rebound girl. Right?", she tried to wipe her tears away.
"No.", I disagreed, "Charlotte, despite all that, I liked you. I liked you seriously. But I love Sadie. And I can't keep two persons in my heart at the same time."
Charlotte nodded her head. "I hope you're going to be happy with her. Good luck."
She stood up before I could tell her to stay longer. She ran away, clutching her messenger bag; her wavy locks swaying with the wind. It seems strange. When you break someone's heart, you break your own too.
Monday came and news spread like wildfire. People teased me a lot and there were a lot of gossips about me and Charlotte and Sadie. My friends made sure that Sadie won't hear anything about this with Cheska's help. Cheska may not be that close with her brother Felix but when it comes to critical things, Cheska always helps. She's a kind and generous kid.
I wanted to isolate myself. I could see Charlotte hurt because of me. I went to the music room and grabbed my guitar. I hummed to a few tunes as I strum my guitar. Suddenly, I heard the door make a sound.
"Oops. I didn't mean to disturb you.", Sadie said when I noticed her by the door.
"It's okay. Can I help you?", I said.
"I'm looking for Mr. Laker. He told me to drop by his room.", She answered.
"He's not here. He went down to the canteen. Must've been hungry.", I informed her.
"Thanks.", She said, "Mind if I join you for awhile? You look lonely."
"Sure. Just wanted to isolate myself for awhile.", I told her.
She sat down near the piano. I followed her and sat next to her. She ran her fingers through the piano keys. "Why do you want to be alone?"
"Charlotte and I are done for good."
"Really? Oh my god, I didn't know. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry. It's a good decision, I believe."
"You ended it?"
"Yes."
She started playing the piano. "This song is for you. I'm going to change all the pronouns for you."
I heard she sang a lullaby
I heard she sang it from her heart
When I find out I thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I started crying like a baby. I don't know why. Maybe I just missed her voice and her comfort. I really miss Sadie. My head landed on her shoulder as I cried. I became so shameless but I felt warm. My sadness poured slowly from my eyes. All those stuff about Charlotte and the past events that made Sadie and I part away from each other slowly died when I placed my head on her shoulder.
How could an angel break my heart?
Why didn't she catch my falling star?
I wish I didn't wish so hard.
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart?
But the angel in the song isn't Charlotte, Sadie. It's you.
