Hi there :) I dedicate this chap to @Niall_Eats_Farts because she voted, and she followed me, and she's nice, and she's..... and she's......uh.... all things bright and beautiful......?
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Ashton:
Have you ever read a story with a song? Do you know that feeling when you know the song in the story and and you wan't to sing along?That's how I feel right now. I wanted to sing so badly. And I wanted to do it now.
To sing or not to sing?
What do I do? Do I take the risk of someone catching me? These past few weeks, no one really bothered me. They never tried to push the subject of what happened while I was gone. They took care of me and supplied me with my neccesities. Mum never allowed me to go outside after that incident and she has been extra careful with me since then.
Huh, who wants to hear that stupid voice of yours anyway?
I felt hot tears build up in the corner of my eyes. Why am I crying? I looked at myself with the help of a mirror. I looked at my face and saw that no emotion was written over it. Just wet tear tracks cascading down my rough cheeks.
I wiped my tears and taught of something happy. Sunshine, rainbows, all positive thoughts. Nothing wrong could happen now. Mum has been telling me that he was already gone. He was caught by the police a few days before I woke up. He may be gone but the memories of what he did to me were still there. The things he did to me, I feel dirty,ashamed, and low. I felt as if I was the sluttiest whore alive.
Suddenly Luke's voice echoed troughout my head.
You're gonna be fine, Ashton.
I'll always be there for you.
I'm gonna help you trough this.
I wanted to cut my wrist so badly, I wanted to take away my life, but, I don't have the strength to do it. Call me a coward for being weak, call me a freak for not speaking, and call me a faggot for loving a man........ who wouldn't love me back.
I felt so broken and vurnerable, so out of place, everyone, everything around me was happy and bright. I'm....I'm useless, I make the picture dull, I should just go....
But think of the others Ashton, how would they feel?Your mum loves you! Luke, too!
A voice inside me shouted. I felt conflicted. I don't know what to believe. I don't even know what to do!
'Can someone help me? I don't want to be like this. I want to be happy. I just wanted to be loved.' I thought as I sobbed harder.
I wiped my tears away and I started to sing.
" I thought, I saw a man brought to life,
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified,
He showed me what it was to cry.
Well you couldn't be the man I adored,
You don't seem to know,
Seem to care, what your heart is for,
But I don't know him anymore.
There's nothing where, he used to lie,
The conversation has run dry,
That's what's going on,
Nothings fine, I'm torn.
I'm all out of faith,
This is how I feel,
I'm cold and I am shamed,
Lying naked on the floor.
Illusion never changed,
Into something real,
I'm wide awake and I can see,
The perfect sky is torn,
You're a little late,
I'm already torn,
...........I'm alredy torn.... "
I finished the song softly, I took a deep breath and said.....
"Come in, Luke...."
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Ooohh My Gawddd!!! He heard him sing!!! Can you vote for me? please. Haha anyway, bye guys!!
YOU ARE READING
YOU~Lashton~
Fanfiction*::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*::* "I cut because I'm broken, I'm a faggot and it's true. I'm falling to pieces, But I'm holding on for YOU." *::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*:::*::* Ashton was kidnapped when he was 14. Five years passed...