Shoplifter: E.O.W Series, Book 1

Chapter 9: Confusion hurts, but not as much as you.

I catch up with Roan after waiting for her to finish the last round of a card game with Joan and Tess. The three girls are playing a game of go fish.

"Go fish." Groans Joan, making me chuckle at their obvious displays of complete boredom. I clear my throat to get their attention.

"Why are you playing go fish? Joan, you kick ass at Poker and Roan can wipe the floor with anyone at Rummy or Hearts." Joan smiles at the compliment but Roan just rolls her eyes, of course.

"Tess can't play card games." She says pausing as a lock of blonde hair falls over one eye. "Kaius Anthony Taylor what is that?" 

"Uhh lip ring?" My voice gets higher pitched as if I'm a child trying to explain a poor decision to his parent.

"...I love it!" Her seriousness fades and in a flash she's by my side admiring it with Tess, who is fidgeting with the tender feeling safety pin in my ear. She messes with my hair to see it better. ''Cool" Cooes Roan.

"Noah got two in his eyebrow." I say instinctively to deflect the women's attention to someone else.

"This is so awesome Kai." Pipes in Tess as she puts her hand on my mouth. I'm not cool with that.  "Where did you get the ring?" Oh bless you Tess, I smile at the chance to get out of the building and subsequently stop this touchy feely interaction with every woman in the gang.

"Actually it's from my ear, I need to pick some up, I came to get Roan and ask if she will come with me. The shop with the best earrings is guarded like a prison." I was so eager to leave that I felt as if I might suddenly start dancing in place. My need for solitude or at least less people gets worse when I am forced into physical or close face to face contact with people.

"Forget about needing back-up you need me with you because you know nothing about jewelry." She laughs. She grabs a red leather jacket that must be new. It went well with her ripped blue jeans and a black t-shirt with a blocky number thirty-seven on it. The shirt hung loose on her body but in no way hid her figure or chest. She left the tight jacket open, but it still highlights her hip and narrow waist. As I stand by the card table I feel something pointy hit me between the eyes. I swiftly grab it before it hits the ground. It was a playing card, the queen o hearts. Roan, who stands a few feet away begins to hold her sides in a fit of laughter. I look for the source of the projectile and find a pointing Tess, her large chest heaving with a laugh so violent she begins to cough. I shoot a surprised look, my hands and eyebrows raised. Roan answers for her.

"Hmm," She cools off from her laughter. "Are you just gonna stare at me all night or are we gonna have some fun."  I feel a warm wave of embarrassment hit my face and hear the sound of Tess and Joan laughing in my ears as my mouth stumbles over a response.

"Umm I was trying to remember your jacket... I can't, however." She laughs at me again, I wish that would stop happening today.

"It's new, Tess and I went out earlier." I nodded and left at a record breaking speed walk, leaving it up to her to follow. The dusk air was refreshingly calm and it smelled of rain that must have stopped not to long ago. Roan walked in front of me, swinging her hips and laughing.

"Stop it." The whole incident in the sanctuary has made me grumpy.

"What?"

"You look ridiculous, I wasn't staring."

"God, Kai you're still on that." She smiles. "I was only joking." She knows what she is doing, and that makes me even more mad. She gets serious, slowing down to be at my side. "Look I know you have no interest in me and I have no interest in you. That's what's so great about you.  You are the only one of them who understands that when we act, we are pretending to be other people. You don't try to be who we are when we are on a supply run all the time." I only nodded in response, producing a low noise to show that I was listening. "It's a good thing Kai. It is good to know that when I kiss you or hold your hand, you won't fall in love. No one else is as good at being so unfeeling and shut off. It makes our act look very real." So that's why I'm a favorite, I'm the only guy too incapable of emotion to hit on her. The seemingly socially functional man who is dead and unfeeling inside. It is times like this one when I wish she didn't  talk so much. I enjoy our talks more than anything because they are honest and friendly, I find it refreshing compared to the often cold feel of my existence. I'd like to think that our friendship is based off of more than joking, rough housing and the fact that I'm incapable of love. ...Is that even true? If it was maybe we wouldn't be friends. I want to know that she enjoys my company  and finds our childish banter as refreshing as I do, but why? Why do I need to know that and why did her words hurt me so? As far as the acting goes I understand her stance. I'm aware that any contact if for the sake of misdirection but that doesn't mean I'm totally unopposed to receiving it from her genuinely. We all need a hug now and again. As we enter the piercing shop in the strip mall where we got our hair dye I have a realization. I hate human contact, I fully and wholly hate it unless it comes from her. I have built up trust with her, that must be why this hurts. As we browse earrings I still feel unsatisfied with that answer but I don't want to run anymore pointless and confusing circles in my head any longer, I have to focus.  We pick out a pair of dark grey bars with baubles on either end for Noah, eye brow piercings.  Roan slips them into her jacket as I hold her waist, leaning too close and moving my lips like I'm whispering something to her. This blocks the managers view of her and conceals her movement from the security camera while making us look inconspicuous on the tape. She replaces the empty earring card back on the back of the rack so the camera picks us her placing the item back now the small item are too small to make a noticeable bulge in her pocket. The manager has been staring at us apparently he has nothing better to do. I whisper in Roans ear as I swing us back and forth a little, she leans into my chest with a loving smile. Her blonde hair tickles my collar bone. As I crass my arms around her a front I slip a pair or gunmetal spikes up her sleeve, she tucks them far up her arm.  

"That damn manager is still staring act like I just said something funny and charming." She whispers back, going against my plan.

"You charming? ..Never.'' She then turns and giggles, touching my elbow. "Aww that's sweet." She laughs.  I place my hand on the small of her back for a second as I switch to her other side. During that time she looks at a black ring mouthing the words "That one." I lean against the small shelf that holds it and a dozen or so belly and lip piercings. I clear my throat to signal to he that the manager now has his full attention on us, creep. "So what are we doing later?" She gets on her toes to look cute. I smile warmly seemingly staring into the girl's eyes but really I'm watching the middle aged man across the store.

"If we leave now we can head to the park before sundown, it really is glorious out tonight." She smiles a smile that only I would recognize as genuine. She wraps her arms around me and I hug her back, squeezing her tight. I pick her up to make us the same height and she grabs  the black ring and when I put her down she puts it in my back pocket. A strange shiver runs up my spine when her hand slides into my back pocket. After she is done, she doesn't let go and the prolonged contact creates a warm feeling in my chest.  The only thing I have to compare it too is the memory of Hugging my mother goodbye on my first day of kindergarten, a strong urge to never let go. I didn't want to burning glow in my chest to end but it did. I am confused by the reintroduction of that  longing I felt years ago. The first time I felt that I was afraid of a new place, I feel no fear now, I don't know what I feel. I suppose it's a sense of comfort, I push it far away. Roan slipped her cold hand into mine. "Let's get going then." I tell her, then I smile and wave goodbye to the manager, he returns it.

"Have a good night you guys." The man says with the gruff voice of a long term smoker. that mans voice is going to bug me when I light up a cigarette in the parking lot.

"You too, God bless." Smiles Roan the atheist.  We have found that for whatever reason if you tell someone god bless they will let you rob them blind with a smile on their face. When we get a good distance from the shop she lets go of my hand and I light up four and a half inches of one day sounding like that man. I hope that never happens, I really do. We leave the small square shopping center inside the crappy strip mall. We try to go into individual shops rather than the mall because commercial shopping centers have much higher security. Cameras here don't concern us, we are experts but Malls have more metal and tag detectors than an airport. Instead of walking left, the short  way home, I go right towards the park.  "What are you doing?"

"It's a nice night, I'm going to the park." I smile, she rolls her eyes and follows. We walked through the pre-summer evening in almost complete silence, the park was relaxing enough that talk would only ruin it. It seemed like we got home too fast and we still remained quiet all the way to the third floor. I wasn't feeling up to conversation. We shared a simple one word "Goodnight" When she reached the first room, the one she shared with Tess and more recently Cam. I went down the last room, the one I now share with Noah. When I walk through the door Noah is asleep early so I merely pat my dog and sigh as I close the door, taking a long look at her door. Then Sighing once more, I drift into sleep.