Hold on pain ends

Chapter 3 -3 years later

I wonder what the hell is going on. My parents arguing wasn't exactly what I wanted to wake up to the fact that it was the in the morning didn't exactly help.
What the fuck did you do with it jane? My dad rarely cursed this must be bad.
I paid the bills Leonardo.my mom shouted back
Don't fucking lie to me I know you ain't pay shit and the land lady called and said we missing three months rent how the fuck did that happen huh? I gave you to pay the woman. What have you possibly done with three motherfucking months worth of money meant for bills and rent. She did what?? You've got to be kidding me I know we paid off every piece of furniture we bought so it ain't that.
Its really fucked up the way how life turns out isn't it? I swear I haven't peace in this house for a while now. Dad's been taking on more jobs to pay the bills because of mom. He's hardly home now and the less I see him the worse it becomes. Moms been abusing me for the past couple of years now. She'd beat me for absolutely any reason at all. The most beatings however come from when I can't tell her where dad is when she asks me. Not because I refuse to tell her but simply because I honestly don't know or because my answer is as vague as what he tels me. It's gotten worse my usual peace with being alone is no longer voluntary. I'm an outcast at school because I couldn't go anywhere , take part in any sport, do anything besides academics. I couldn't speak to anyone, they just assumed that I was a snob. I was so smart I'd gotten to good to talk to them or so they say. My mother? I lost hope a long time ago and that's saying a lot she's blamed me for everything. Dahlia, she knows me as her mother she's growing up with me taking care of her. I haven't had a peaceful rest in four years and I'm only ten. Studying, tests, taking care of Dahlia and nightmares keeps me up every night. I don't mind anything to avoid those nightmares clawing at my brain. Pulling me into the dark abyss where my thoughts lay. The screams, the tears fresh in my mind as if it had happened yesterday .
Clutching at my head doesn't stop the memories, the pain.
Unstable hormones I've had it for a while now I got my period at the age of 8 and all the doctor had to tell me was some bullshit about imbalanced, unstable hormones that's been causing me to develop at a rapid rate. I had 34 C breasts and big ass. I didn't look my age and that's what got me in trouble in the first place. I hated this, the way I looked it attracted attention that I didn't want.
Jane blamed me, it was my fault we barely had money she said. My fault we had to pay for bras that would fit,buy pads for me and more importantly it was my fault I got raped........ twice and been molested more times than I can count.
The first time I was 7 I had breasts then as well enough to hold onto he said. That sick fuck.
At first he'd play with me little games to keep me entertained I was the only child left school had already ended. But I wasn't aloud to go home even though we lived in walking distance from the school. Mother dearest insisted I wait for her I wasn't allowed in the office while meetings were going on so sat in one of the classrooms. That's when HE came I still remember his face,he was good looking and that's what entranced me in the first place not sexually of course however I did read about intercourse in a book before I just found him really pretty. I thought nothing of him playing with me in the classroom after school at first i was having fun something my mother never allowed me to do. He'd read to me and bed do these funny impressions I'd never got around to telling him I could read I thought of he did know he'd stop reading to me. Weeks passed and it became some what of a ritual for us. That day however was different
Come sit on my lap hope.that's what he called me.
Why? We've never done that before big bro.he was a brother to me at the time
I just want to hold you while I read to you is that so bad.I went along with it because why not.
He read o my and while he was reading he started feeling up my breasts I was uncomfortable.
What are you doing? Let me go. His grip tightened on me and he ignored me continuing with the story as if I never spoke.
I flung back my head catching him by surprise but he didn't let me go he got angry.
He lifted my skirt and pulled aside my panties forcing his finger into me it hurt . It hurt so fucking much. He played with his penis. It was disgusting. It smelled awful. I cried, I screamed why wasnt anyone helping me couldn't they hear me. Were they even here?
Scream all you want bitch no ones here I told your mom I walked you home earlier no one knows you're here. He tried sticking his disgusting penis in my mouth and I bit him. He yanked on my hair hard
forcing me to scream out.
You little bitch. He let me go pulling up his pants
Fix your clothes and go home I'll be back tomorrow. He smirked and left me there. I rushed home after fixing myself hyperventilating. When I got home mom wasn't there.I cried, terrified of what would come the next day.I fell asleep
Where have you been Reine Hope Anderson ive been looking everywhere for you you've left school since 3 i get home after 5 and you aren't home are trying to get me in trouble if the police can't find you if your father came home and didn't see you.....she was in a rage she didn't even let me answer she beat me that day she never listened to anything I had to say. She beat me for hour s my skin was swollen and dad didn't come home that night turns out he had to work yet another job as a bouncer at a nightclub cuz mom didn't pay the bills  again. I wouldn't see him in the morning either because hed work a government work at 5 in the morning I rarely see him.
I fainted I couldn't take it everything that had happened today plus the beatings .
I woke up in a cold sweat that night my whole body ached and his words replay in my head.
He was coming back he said so himself.
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I go myself ready for school scared as hell hoping I didn't have to stay back today.
Dear God ,if there's anything at all that can be done to stop this meeting today please let it be done.
We arrived and I dreaded every moment of it the day sped by what normally seemed very slow to me now seemed to come way too fast and before I knew it school ended. The only thing I could do was plead with mother to let me go home.
Knocking on her classroom door
Mom can I walk home now
She watched me like I had grown a second head.
Why on earth would I do that after what you pulled yesterday are you insane.