There once was a boy named Jake. He was 7. One day he was on the swings with his friend at recess.
" Drew, what if we never marry? What if we end up like drunk hobos who kill people for dat gummy money?" Said Jake.
" Dude," said Drew. " that is what we're gonna end up like."
" Dang it Drew, you're right." Said Jake as he put another Nicki Minaj gummy in his mouth.
6 years went by and Jake was desperate for love. In his boredom, he got out a Harry Potter movie and watched it with a bucket of lard in his arms. The movie stared and Jake dug his hands through the thick substance and shoved it in his mouth.
Scenes went bye and a truly magical moment like no other happened. A girl with brown, wavy hair turned around. She gazes at the camera as light shown brilliantly behind her. Her name, was Hermione. I dropped the heavy bucket of lard off my bed onto the floor. My body became numb, due to this beautiful creature's awe inspiring love flowing through my veins.
" What is this feeling?" Said Jake as he couldn't believe that God could make such beauty.
I thought to myself. Is this... love? I had never experienced this mind numbing moment in my young, 12 year old life.
As the days went by, I was distracted by her face. It was all I could think about. And then one day, I knew that I had to meet her.
