just one day || jikook

bonus pt. 1 - jimin

i sighed as i folded the letter into an envelope signed to the boy who never even bothered to text me, to ask where i was right now, to ask how i was doing.

of course. he was busy with my best friend... or maybe former, best friend now? 

they were probably out on a date and enjoying their lives. while i was here... stuck in this small room, hooked up to a machine that was breathing for me at this point. 

on my lap were 7 letters. one for each of my group mates, and my parents. 

my parents had agreed to allow me to let go of my life support tomorrow night. 

namjoon-hyung and seokjin-hyung said they would come visit tonight, along with hoseok-hyung and yoongi-hyung. 

of course, taehyung and jungkook were too busy to come by tonight. they said they would come tomorrow morning. 

they've been saying they'd come tomorrow for the past month.

but they never even came. not once.

i wanted to end this now, but with my parents by my side right now, i couldn't. 

i couldn't bear to see my mom as she cried a river for me, my dad doing the same right beside her. i couldn't bear to see my little brother, jihyun, trying to stay strong to comfort our parents, but failing and giving into his sorrow as well. i couldn't bear it. 

i couldn't bear the fact that they were falling apart because of me.

because of this stupid disease that controlled my life, this disease that was stress induced. 

stress caused by nothing else except my broken heart over a particular jeon jungkook.

i remember the day i got diagnosed.

"park jimin, im sorry. you have severe depression... and heart disease. you also have lung deterioration. im so sorry, mr and mrs park... your son is dying. we can put him on pills to slow down the development, and to decrease his pain... but the most he has to stay alive is a year. of course... it's up to you two and jimin if you want to end it earlier, depending on his condition..."

i remember running up to the roof of the hospital that same night, screaming and yelling out of all my anger and frustration. i wanted to do so much more with my life, jeon jungkook. i wanted to continue my career as an idol with bangtan. i wanted to be able to be an idol until an older age, and then start my own restaurant. i wanted to take care of my parents when they reach an old age. i wanted to take care of my little brother. i wanted... i wanted to start a family. i wanted to be a father, jungkook. 

but of course, i just had to fall in love with you. 

you ruined my life, jeon jungkook. 

and kim taehyung... you were my best friend. you knew i liked jungkook. but you didn't have the decency to tell me that you liked him too? taehyung, you completely broke me that day. it was already bad enough that i got rejected, but to be betrayed by my own best friend... 

that hurt. 

but i guess i can't even blame either of you. this is all my fault. my fault that i fell in love to begin with. 

all the nights i stayed up too stressed out to sleep, all the meals i skipped because of the pain i felt, all of the pain i felt...

it could have been endless days of good sleep, to wake up to good meals cooked by seokjin-hyung, to eat happily and be happy for a long, long time... 

we don't all get what we want, do we? 

*beep beep*

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