The Return Of Blood (Johnlock fanfic)

Chapter Three

Sherlocks POV

"S-stop! Please! She's innocent!" I heard him screaming, stuggling against his bonds. There would be no way he could escape. I tied him too tightly to the chair.

"Just tell me where Sebastian Moran ran off to and what he's plotting and she can go free." I said calmly. Even though I've done this thrice before, my heart still pounded and my hands still shook. The hard part is over I tell myself. He's caught and right where you want him. Just squeak the information out of him. Don't  be emotional.

"I don't know! Please! Let her go!" He cried. I exhaled and turn the knife and pushed it deeper into her arm. She screamed out again, sobbing louder. Love is truly worthless. Human error. He'll give up secrets and send lives to their death to save someone they care about. I'd never do that.

"Stop! Don't hurt her!" he screamed.  

"Sh-Sherlock!"

Wait.... Was that.... John's voice?

I snapped out of my sleep gasping for breath. It was just another nightmare. And it seems like John had another one too judging by his scream. Wiping the cold sweat from my forehead, I rushed up the stairs to John's room stopped a few steps before taking a deep breath and fixing my hair. Putting on my most emotionless face, i opened the door. Do i stand in the doorway? Should i go over and comfort him? no no, too risky. He can't know.

"Another nightmare, John?" Oh god did I sound in love? I must make sure i act more annoyed.

He nodded. I wished i could go over and comfort him. Instead, I let out a sigh. "John, you've known that I faked my death for how long now? A month? Get over it. Im not dead. Why do you people.....care...so much? See why its a disadvantage?"

"I'm fine. Im sure this was the last one." He whispered, ashamed. I wanted to take it back. Tell him I didnt mean it and then go over to him and hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be ok. What am I thinking? I'm not in love. I'm a high functioning sociopath.

I swallowed my feelings and spoke. "You said that yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the WEEK before that." I turned around and walked back down the stairs before my composure broke. Instead of walking back to my room, I decided to make some tea.

I had spent the last three years dismantling Moriarty's web. It was the worst thing I've ever done. Theratening people, maiming people, nearly killing innocent people just to get information or to destroy it. The faces of each person I hurt still burning in my head. But the real thing that gets to me is the fact that I feel no remorse. I could do it again. I could watch people get hurt because of me and not care in the slightest. I feel truly empathyless. When I drained myself of emotions i knew i did a good job but not this good.

Still in a trance, i took a sip of tea and instantly spit it out. Yuck. This is how John likes it. I smiled a bit and almost chuckled at the fact that i had made John tea while on autopilot. 

I was just about to restart and make myself tea when i heard John begin to hyperventilate. I hope he's ok. Oh god, what if he isn't? What if he's having a panic attack or, or what if its something more serious. I ran over all the possibilities of diseases John could have because it. It could be respiratory alkalosi or pulmonary embolism or sepsis- unlikely, john isn't old enough.. Regardless, John is in danger. I quickly put the tea down and ran to Johns room.

"What's wrong?" I said as quickly as i could. As soon as he looked up i quickly wiped the petrified and worried look from my face.

"Sorry, what?" He asked, oblivious to the fact he was over breathing.

"You're hyperventilating." I stated, supressing a chuckle at his adorable obliviousness.

"Oh" he said, finally exhaling. "Just trying some uh breathing exercises. good for the lungs."

Breathing excersises? Well that's a lie. He's probably still shaken up from his nightmare. I shouldn't call him out on it, I don't want him to be more uncomfortable and embarssed than he actually is.

"Just, breathe a little quiter. I'm trying to get to sleep."

He nodded and I left to go up to my room.