don't care || mkt + jsw

two

that night, i laid down in misery on jaebum's and youngjae's living room couch. all i could think about was mark's frustrated and angry face, how he had the urge to beat me up and crumble me up to a ball. it was unsettling, strange. but the thing is, i don't know.

i don't know the real reason he's like that.

i stared up the ceiling, looking up and blinking numerous times to not let the tears fall again. my heart aches, lump in my throat. i try not to let a single noise, or even a sniff.

i've felt really bad for jaebum and youngjae, to see this broken state of mine. and how it's like the middle of night and now that i'm overthinking that they might be pissed or annoyed that i'm here, or they might kick me out some time later.

overthinking is always inside me.

i always think that i'm not good enough. not good enough for my family, my friends, and even my boyfriend. i really want to do the best i could. my horrible habit is doubting myself over, and over. and it wasn't getting any better when i never had the courage to talk about it with mark.

my thoughts were caught off when i hear footsteps coming close to my direction and i lift up my head to see jaebum smiling sympathetically at me.

"hey, hyung" i croaked out, didn't notice my voice was almost lost from all that sobbing. "what cha doin' checking on me? you and youngjae should rest."

"no rest for us now, jackson-ah. me and youngjae are still trying to contact that asshole boyfriend of yours," jaebum says and i froze. why is he calling him?

jaebum must've noticed seeing my state, growing pale and breathing getting uncontrollable when he went to sit on the couch and hugged me tightly. i suddenly relax to his presence close and just lean on him. he always gives the best hugs.

jaebum pulls away and he sees my eyes being all worried and scared. he knows that i've been sensitive since we'e even met, and he would always be careful around me. he's such a caring person and i don't deserve that, at all.

"jackson-ah, don't ever think that i called him over just so he can take you back, no." jaebum says while shaking his head. he then looks at my sternly, "i'm calling him because i want to talk to him, in private."

i gulped, because i know from that tone of his, its serious. jaebum is always protective over jackson, jaebum would do anything to avoid him from any danger. i couldn't believe he would still do this from 11th grade. but here we are.

"jaebummie, i know that you're mad and all but, shouldn't we know why he was mad at the first place?" i said, twiddling my hands nervously. "maybe he knows something that i don't, and it could be something that i didn't do at all."

"hm, you might be right," jaebum agreed. "i think we should meet up with jinyoung and yugyeom. they know what they have been up to with mark recently." jaebum suggests and i nodded.

jaebum pats my back and kisses the top of my head. we weren't that affectionate and touchy but we do care about each other a lot. i wrapped an arm around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder, breathing in and out following the tempo of the clock ticking.

whatever mark's mad about, i should get to the bottom of it, and fast.

hey guys sorry for the loooong ass update i forgot that i had this in my works so yeah !!! enjoy this update, sorry if its a bit shitty i'll go proof read it tomorrow morning and i gotta go to sleep now so goodnight everyone have a great day !!!