Gretchen crushed the corner of the red, tasseled throw pillow in her fist. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking actually. Someday, I hope to be able to practice law. I can’t be threatening people. I especially can’t be telling them they should put a bullet in their head.”
Dr. Yauney’s demeanor remained calm, as always. Gretchen had never seen him surprised, upset, or unhinged. The seasoned therapist was as steady as a rock. “Yes, that may have been a bit over the top. What was going through your mind at the time?”
Gretchen swallowed the lump in her throat. “I kept seeing pictures of the girl’s battered, little body. They played through my mind, over and over again. He did that. He hurt her. He could have killed her, and he the one person in the world who should have protected her. How can a person do that to a child? How can they do that to their own daughter?”
“Are we still talking about your client’s father, or are we talking about your birth mother?” Dr. Yauney asked.
Gretchen wanted to scowl at him, wanted to be angry. But she couldn’t. She didn’t have the energy. Her face crumpled. “I don’t think I’m going into the right profession. I can’t be objective. I have too much emotion tied up into dealing with victims—especially children.”
“What would it take to change your emphasis?” Dr. Yauney glanced down at his notebook.
“I’m pretty far into my internship,” Gretchen said. “Still, it might be best to change it now. It’ll only be harder when I’m already a practicing attorney.”
“Gretchen, I’m going to tell you something I think you need to hear.” He put his papers down, linked his fingers together, and peered at her over his wire-rimmed glasses. “I don’t think you should make this decision at right now. There is obviously something upsetting you.”
“Well, yeah. I threatened a man in a court building. I have been off my game lately.” She gave a weak smile.
“I think you were struggling before the courthouse incident. Why did you decide a month ago to resume meeting with me? You seemed to have moved beyond the issues of your past. You’d been so happy, so carefree. But the woman I see before me is troubled and unsure. I would just like you to tell me what happened to change things.”
“Nothing happened. I have a boyfriend who loves me, I have a wonderful internship with one of the best attorneys in Honolulu, and I have the money to pay all my bills with enough left over to have fun on the weekends. My life is great.”
“That sounds wonderful, but I’m sure the internship comes with its own stress.”
Gretchen hugged the pillow to her chest. “It can be stressful.” She sighed. “I just wish Hal would listen to me.”
“Is this the boyfriend you are so happy with?”
“I am happy. At least, I used to be. Things were better when Sara was here.”
“Your best friend.” Dr. Yauney spoke it as a statement.
“Yes. We were as close as any two sisters. I could tell her almost anything.”
“I think it odd you two only met a year ago, yet you both act as if you’d been friends for years.”
Gretchen shrugged. “We just connected. I can’t explain it.”
“How long ago did she move away?”
“It’s been a month.”
Dr. Yauney’s brows crinkled. Wow, a reaction.