rant(?)

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by internwtsoph

by internwtsoph

My head is in a very big jumble

I have tried to rant to friends and once tried to approach my mother, but every time I either shy out and let it swallow me whole for a few days or just can't phrase it correctly.

Now it's kind of both.

I can't quite sort out my head, my happiness is in fractions, pieces, slivers, I always go back to having a numb feeling in me.

I'm never truly happy, never truly sad, because that numb feeling always rests inside me. Pieces and parts of songs help me recover what I'm feeling better than I can.

Little things bother me, make me we want to cry, and I can't quite string what they all have in common.

I started crying now, 2:15 AM, tears spilling down my cheeks. This numb feeling still resides. I hope it goes away, I want to be able to enjoy feeling free again.