rants, bants, opinions and things.

dodies depression

So some of my you may or may not know a certain someone named Dodie.
If you're following her on Instagram or subscribed to her on YouTube.
You may of notice that she is depressed.

She recently uploaded a video of her and with one of her good mates Hazel Hayes, on about over sharing on the Internet. She then later uploaded another video about her mistake of making that video. She is now going to reduce the 'cries for help when depressed' on social media.

To me, when Dodie post things about her depression, it saddens me to think that she's going through these things. But it also gives me an aspect that well known people like her, along with celebrities such as singers, actors, comedians, are not the perfect humans on earth. And yet, we view them as perfect humans on earth.

I view Dodie as one of those rare people who uses depression and turn them into art, hence why whenever I listen to her music it makes me cry, because it hits close to home, and she used it as art. Because most of the depressed art gets ignored and it makes it worse for the artist. I'm scared that in the future, I'm going to wake up and see 'YOUTUBE SENSATION DODIE CLARK HAS DIED' or something like that. It wasn't bad enough that Chester Bennington from Linkin Park has past away. I cried my eyes out when Robin Williams died, and I still get teary whenever I see him in movies, along with Carrie Fisher in Star Wars. God will I cry in the next Star Wars movie.

Dodie reminds me of Vincent Van Gough. His paintings are most full of colour, especially with his blues and yellows. After watching the episode of Doctor Who when the Doctor and his companion Amelia Pond visits him, it showed Van Gough through his depressed times. People hated his art work and bullied him. But when Amelia Pond comes round, it brings a smile to his face and she reminded him of sunflowers.
Spoilers:
at the end of the episode, the Doctor brought Van Gough back to the modern day and took him to a museum with Van Gough's artwork, being displayed for the people to see. The Doctor asked an art historian (I forgot what they're called) and asked his opinion on Van Gough's work, surprisingly enough, it was positive words. It brought Vincent to tears, which brought me to tears because this was a real life person who went thought a lot in real life. Which is why that's my favourite Doctor Who episode.
But the sad part was that the Doctor and Amy didn't visit him, and then he killed himself. Apparently he drank yellow paint to make himself happy. (I highly not recommend that! But do correct me if I'm wrong).

As said before that Dodie reminded me of Vincent. It's because whenever she posts a rant or a cry on Instagram, she usually posts a picture that involves the colour yellow. The colour that's the opposite of sadness.
For me, I wasn't the biggest fan of yellow, actually I hated the colour yellow because it was bright and happy. But recently, yellow is becoming my favourite colour. I usually wear blacks, greys and darker colours, because they were my favourite colours (I know black and grey are shades but you get my point. And black and grey is still one of my favourite colours). I think why she likes the colour yellow, it's because it'll remind her of happiness, and to cover up her sadder side.
I recently brought a mustard yellow sweater, at first I thought I wouldn't like it and it wouldn't suit me. But surprise surprise, I've been wearing it non stop. It's now the brightest thing I own in my wardrobe.

My Emo is slowly dissolving into something bright. IM NOW DANIEL HOWELL. sorry.

Thanks to Dodie... And La la land. I'm now into brighter colours.

I hope Dodie gets better in the future. If you're suffering from depression or anxiety, please speak to someone, either a friend, family member, teacher, therapist, lifeline, your cat or dog.. Even a fish. It helps if you speak out.
I highly recommend reading Carrie Hope Fletcher's book All I Know Now. It has international lifelines at the back of her book.
Remember, it may feel like shit now, but it will get better in the future.