forgetting you

1

"sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation"

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Two words and the past two years of my life was gone. Two simple words took away all my happiness. 

Everything I expected for my future. 

Everything I ever wanted. 

I had no idea what I was going to do for the rest of my life.

You were my happiness, my future, everything I ever wanted in life.

I couldn't help but think, what did I do wrong ?

I loved you with everything I had in my body yet it wasn't enough.

I thought I was spending the rest of my life with you. We talked about our future together, kids, a house, we both wanted those things.

Or so I thought.

Why did you end our relationship so abruptly? 

What did I do wrong? 

So here I sat, in my bed that seemed much bigger since you left. I looked out the window to see a busy, rainy, New York. It's amazing, you feel like your life has stopped completely yet other people are living their everyday lives as nothing happened. 

I feel that I should be crying right now but I can't, the realization hasn't quite hit me yet I think that's why.

So I just sit there silently, in my little apartment, watching the rain fall down my window, as my phone rings repeatedly. I don't care who it is, because I know it's not you.