You have existed in every thought,
You built a home on the tip of my tongue,
Every gust of wind that hits my face sounds like your barren whispers,
Every line of poetry that you have written plays on a loop behind my sensitive ears,
The way you create life from your shaking hands has taken a toll on my physical being,
The soul that I once had has been commandeered by my seeing you the farther away I stumble,
I have not felt you yet but your touch has been carved into my skin,
I have not tasted the righteous pearls that you have never focused on obtaining,
The circle holding your promise of a holy place rests close to your heart,
The left side of your body avidly tears your person apart,
Your innermost thoughts have commenced pressure on my chest, keeping me stagnant at all times,
Your scripture has left me weeping in waves of silence,
I felt lifeless leaving,
I prayed to the universe, begging for mercy,
Leaving I can only hope that last night was not the end of you,
Leaving for what my hopeless soul can only hope is the last time,
I pray that was not the last time I would see you wipe sweat from your brown thanks to the burden of religion,
I pray that you think of me while the beasts attempt to tame your restless, wondering, mind,
I cannot fathom that this will be the last time I feel feel feel the way you make my stomach churn from finding myself in who you know that I am,
I have to feel you again,
Mentally, I have to experience every shred of you, otherwise I do not know if I will be able to be find any meaning in my time here,
Mentally, I need your wisdom to guide me always,
Without you who am I?
Without you I will be a shell of the person you make me want to be,
No longer able to ponder the inner workings of humanity,
No longer hoping in the revival that my lungs will keep my from participating,
Moving on from my emotional one sided affair will be the greatest tribulation,
Moving on from my emotional one sided affair will be the greatest triumph,
Blinded by the way I once thought things were,
Blinded by the aristocracy of deceit once was a life for the young woman you first saw,
You spit out every truth I had never received,
You told me it was alright to be selfish,
That there is a time and place for everything,
That we are nothing and everything all at once,
I must must must be selfish for myself,
I must to be selfish with you.
