A question I get asked a lot is “Why don’t you date?” and it’s a good question, but I’ll tell you now it not simple. I’ve known many high schoolers who also don’t date stating that they have no interest in a relationship and that they’re to busy or want to focus on school. Those are both good reasons but not exactly mine. You see, I want to date (I wish I could simply have no interest in it)…but I have several good reasons why I don’t:
1. I take it seriously.
I take “dating” seriously. I don’t think it should be something that people just do for fun or because they’re bored, lonely, or horny – and lets be honest, that’s what most high school relationships are about. I believe dating should only be used to find the one God has made for you…to marry. Period. Because I take dating so seriously, I wouldn’t date anyone I already know I wouldn’t marry. Now, I know people change – especially in high school – but bare with me for a moment. As a young lady, the man I will one day marry will not only be my husband whom I must be submissive to, but also my and my children’s spiritual leader. So if I meet a young man who I like but isn’t a Christian, or not a very strong Christian, how is he supposed to lead me spiritually? As I said, people do change, and if he did that would be one thing, but I’m not going to date someone now in the hopes that they’ll change later.
2. Maturity
In high school, it has been proven, that girls are generally more mature than boys. Thats not true of every case (in fact in many cases it’s the opposite) but in general it’s true. That being said I don’t consider myself mature enough to date…so how can I expect a potential boyfriend to be? I mean, we’re in high school, we aren’t supposed to be grown up yet. So whats the harm in waiting? At this point, a sign of a guy being mature enough to date would be him saying that he wants to wait.
3. Age
Most high school relationships are started for the wrong reasons, and even the few that have good intentions, what are you gonna do about it? You’re too young to marry, and longer you wait the stronger the temptations…
4. Trust
I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust myself to be alone with a guy and a romantic setting and not do something I’ll regret. I know my own mind better than anyone except God and I’m afraid of what I might do and not care till later. I also have a hard time trusting others, so how could a trust a hormonal teenage guy not to push me in a moment of weakness? I’ve been told by those who experienced it that any time you date someone or get even slightly physical with someone (like holding hands or kissing +) you give a piece of yourself away to them, and I want to save myself for my husband.
5. God
I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for people to date in high school, but I do believe sometimes God will tell us personally that he doesn’t want us to do something. I have a friend (over 21) who doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking, but he believes that God told him specifically not to and so he doesn’t. I believe God has his reasons, maybe my friend is more likely to be an alcoholic? I don’t know. I believe God has told me not to date till I’m at least out of high school…maybe even till I’m twenty. Why did God tell me this? I’m not completely sure but I think it has to do with #4, maybe also cause I tend to fall in love easily (and when I say love I don’t mean I have a crush on someone I mean…well…thats a story for another time).
I hope this is explanation enough for now. I won’t date till I’m older ( unless God sends the Angel Gabriel in human form to me and basically tells me to date him lol ^_^ ). If you have any questions please feel free to ask. ^_^
~ Lee
