Having to tell Dylan that I was suicidal was the most terrifying moments of my life. I mean I loved him and didn't want him to leave because I was like I was, but somehow I had hope and faith that he wouldn't do that to me. Dylan and I have been through a lot together maybe we could fight this battle and try together if he would help me with it. There is a piece of me that lingers beyond anything I've ever hoped for, I've never wanted something so much before in my life. All I want now is for Dylan to stay with me and care and not leave. He promised me he would always stay no matter what, but what if this is too much for him I handle and he can't do it so he has to break that promise , break everything we have , break me... The voice inside my head tells me if I tell him things will go bad. My heart tells me he is my true love and I need to tell him everything no matter the circumstance. I really don't know if I should follow my mind or my heart at this point. All I know is that my love for him may not even be love at all. Maybe I'm in love with my bastard of a ex. Wait..... hell no I could never he's too.... him. I could never love him the way I love Dylan. Dylan is so much more than Cameron ever could be. Somehow I have to tell Dylan before it's to late and he leaves me, But how could I even say it..... it's not everyday you have a girlfriend not tell you she's suicidal. I do believe he needs to know though. I can't hold any secrets back from him anymore..... it wouldn't be right.
