No Love (#1)

Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

Unedited/First Draft

The gray colored walls deem intimidating as I find myself staring at them. Gazing around, I start questioning my own reason for coming here. It is clear - I don't belong here. I don't belong in this world but I also realize that it is already late. I can't back out, not today. I can't back out when I've reached this far.

Caught up in my own world, I don't register my name being called. Only when the person next to me nudges my side, I come back to my senses.

It's turn.

Standing up, I move towards the red haired receptionist and return the smile she gave me, only hoping it was as professional and real as hers. When she tells me the way, I find myself heading towards the room, that would decide my future. The same room that would either save me or ruin me, but I don't know if I'm ready to face either. I don't know if I'm ready to face my salvation, if not ruination.

As I stand outside the room, I realize that my hands are trembling slightly. I also register the nervousness seeping through me. No matter how speedily I want to turn around and sprint out of this building, I hold myself back.

Emancipation. I repeat the word to myself as if it is some canticle of hope. Taking a deep breath, I force my trembling hand to knock on the portal. My soft knock goes unheard the first and second times. However, on the third knock, I hear something similar to 'c'me in'. So, turning the doorknob, I advance the door open and immediately, I step inside and slam the door shut.

Turning around, I'm greeted with a wrinkled forehead and black hair with few grey streaks on it. The man, who seems to be in his late forties gazes over me, as if he is trying to speculate who I am. As practiced, I address him with a smile - this time too, hoping it to be a professional smile - which is returned with a tight lipped one. He, then, motions me to take the seat facing him.

When I look comfortable enough, he proceeds with the early step.

"So, Ms.Analisia...," his throaty voice addresses my presence. "What brings you here today?" he asks tossing my resume on his side. I feel my confidence at that gesture but I hold my ground.

Having memorized perfect answer to the question, one would've thought about a confident response but my anthropophobia ceased me from remembering my answer. Nada. Zilch. I remember nothing.

Emancipation. I chant again. Numerous times.

Breathing deeply, I start to speak. "D-dropping out of college was something I never thought I would do but it seems what we think and what happens in real are never alike," I look into the eyes, the same eyes awaiting answer. "No matter how many times people praised my excellence and put forth their expectations in me, I never let them ruin my dream. At least, I thought I didn't. I was wrong. I realized that I was surviving for others. I was slowly annihilating myself to make others happy..." I stop myself abruptly as a teardrop slides down my cheek. "Sorry." I apologize to Mr. Tesla - as his name tag let me know. "And demolition of myself was something I would never let happen. This vow to myself made me cut ties of kindred. No matter how hard the decision was, I didn't give in my desire to give up. I was adamant. What is to lose when you've already lost your happiness? I used to think. But what I didn't realize is that only the fittest can survive in this competitive world. Can I get the bottle please?" I immediately interrupt my words as the thirst for water weakens me.

I find my interviewer, Mr Tesla watching me intently as I gulp down the water. His eyes travel my hand that is keeping the bottle at its previous place. When I believe I am calm enough, I snap my head up into the direction of his eyes. Taking few deep breaths, I start speaking again.

"As I was saying, surviving became difficult. With each day passing, I realized my fault. I realized that dropping out of college was inaccurate. I was a fool to let myself down in that way. Before it was too late, I needed to do something. I had to do something in order to survive. And when I was going through vacancy pages and it led me here." I end letting out a slight laugh as if nothing happened during the whole ordeal.

I am treated with silence as I finish myself. As I gaze at my interviewer, I find him eyeing me intently. There is an unknown glint in his eyes. It seems as if he is examining me, testing me. "So, an opportunist?" he asks after a few moments of silence. This time he uses the kind of tone as if daring me to deny him.

"There is a difference between an opportunist, and someone who seizes an opportunity. And in this situation, I believe I am the latter one." I state firmly.

Mr. Tesla continues to stare at me. But this time, his stare is different. He looks as if he searching something in me, like my soul.

"Alright, Ms. Analisia. Thank you for taking your time in this interview." he says and hands me my resume. I'm stunned at this response. Standing abruptly from my seat, I offer him a smile and head towards the door.

At least, I tried my best. 

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Well, hello there. Long time no see. I'm pretty sure that everyone has already forgotten about the existence of this book but I'm glad to be back. Glad to be able to republish the unpublished chapters and be back to writing. Glad that I'm no more in writer's block.