The Other Direction

This is my story.

My story, well, seems to go in the other direction. Just like me. 

You know, It's not easy being the "Chubby" one. Especially when you know that "chubby" is just the nice version of FAT.

And what's tougher is that you are ALWAYS compared to someone else. "Well, at least you're not as big as..."

I mean, i don't compare how average you are compared to whoever! So what if the scale says I'm heavier than 200lbs.? Does that not make me a person? or ha ha, let me guess, that makes me two people?

Yeah, I've heard that one just about a hundred times. I've heard it all. All the comments, the jokes. I've seen all the gestures and I've known all the restrictions. apparently, the number on the scale says I can't rock a crop top, or wear short shorts. But aren't numbers all just in our heads?

Well, yeah. But thoughts are made to be spread, and let me tell you, THEY SPREAD.

And don't take this the wrong way, I really do appreciate the acceptance and support from my friends. But it doesn't help...

The two cents that everyone always feels they have the right to pitch in feel AWFUL. But the truth hurts.

I see it in myself after every comment and gesture. The only person who knows my body better than the people who look at it is me. And I see it too. Except only I know how it feels. the disappointment when that cute shirt fits better on the mannequin better than it does on you. even though you are already wearing the largest size available. And the anxiety you feel when you are for once invited to something

...Like a pool party

Yup. This is my story. And I hate it.

I HATE MYSELF.

...But that's not The End.

What most people don't realize is that, as much as we'd like to believe, 

ACCEPTANCE ISN'T EVERYTHING.

By accepting who I am, I'm just saying "I hate myself, but that's okay."

Everybody has a story

But not everyone will pick up the pen and write it. 

so no, it isn't about acceptance. What it's truly about, is compromise.

If you don't like it, change it.

This is my story. I hate it.

I HATE MYSELF.

BUT ONLY I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THAT.

Love is the sense of care. That is what the phrase "Love yourself" means. To care for yourself. Your mind and body. Sometimes, that's a lot of work. Sometimes you will feel lazy. I MEAN LOOK AT ME, THAT MY NAME!

But hard work is key, and that is the real road to acceptance. Not some Tumblr quote trash. I learned that while reading my story, and to this day, I'm still working hard.  And you know what?

I LOVE THAT ABOUT MYSELF.

So yeah, this is my story. and now, It's going in the other direction.

So what's your story?