Collections: To Her Father

His Name is William

I need to rush things out. It’s my last year in college, and I haven’t thought of a good thesis title yet. I was about to read some books in order for me to gain good ideas but I found myself thinking about this pain I’m bearing right now. Heartbreak, I guess.
I remember my first try in that thing called love. I surrendered my love and my trust wholly. We were happy, yes, too happy. And I began scanning our old pictures. My favourite shot was taken in Jollibee. Oh, my smile looks so sweet. And there’s this handsome man holding my hand. Honestly, I could no longer remember how I felt that day, what was done and all. All I have is this picture and my sweet smile blooms whenever I look at it.
Wait, there’s more. I saw a violet shirt given by him. I know, violet isn’t my favourite and until now I wonder why he gave me one. But it’s still appreciated. I remember that he was very happy when he gave me such. That made the present more precious.
But things changed. He has changed. I felt so wounded whenever I see him happy with her. I wanted to run to him and tell him how much it hurts. I want to hug him and ask him to come back. I want to hear him say sorry. I want to know the answer to my why’s. I want... I want this guy named William. But I couldn’t believe that he’s holding her tighter than the way he once held my hands.
Oh, William, said I. Tears crept in as I began to reminisce the day he left. Years have passed, but it still breaks my heart. I haven’t moved on since that night. I have lots of questions to ask, but all were left unanswered. Things were left unsaid. No explanations, no apologies, not even a single goodbye. I was left probing what happened and why did it happen. Tears could no longer bring back time. But tears make that time bring back to life. It breaks me all throughout. Dear William... why did you leave all of a sudden?
And then I saw my grandfather who took care of me when William, dear William, left. It was my grandfather who fathered me. Well, I realized I have to thank William. Because of him, I was raised by my grandparents who never fail to make me happy, never fail to satisfy my needs, and never fail to make me believe in love again.
I began looking back to the moment I saw him with her... his daughter with his present wife. I could see how happy he is. That same smile was the smile in our picture together. The way he tightly holds her hands, that’s when I realized that he has changed- changed for the better. This time I know he’s not turning back. He’s not going to leave her little princess like he did to me. And that is a guarantee that he is a better father now. At least, I can sleep happily at night knowing that William will never do that again. That William, for sure, repents and is also longing to embrace the lesson of the past and will never fail in that thing called love.
My father... his name is William...
(Words: by Yours Truly
Photo: (c) Google Image)