Hide and Seek.

Chapter 5

The questions hangs in the air like moisture on a hot day, but she doesn't know how to answer it, what to say to that. Her plan to stay as far away from him as possible was good, solid even, but it's hard to keep her distance when he talks to her like they just saw each other yesterday. Like he still knows everything about her, but he doesn't. She isn't that irresponsible girl anymore, she's an adult now.

But he's not done with her just yet.

"You got yourself all settled in here with Allan, ring on the finger and all that shit, ready to have a family. Real nice for you, baby girl. Real nice."

"Oh, fuck off!" she spits fire through her words. "We were a family before you decided to fuck everything up! So, don't blame me for going on with my life, Peter. Don't you fucking dare!"

"Is that the lie you tell yourself to get through the day? That you moved on?" He laughs, pouring salt right on top of her open wound. "Not even you are that good of a liar."

"You sure know a thing or two about lying, don't you? Even made a whole career of it."

Again Peter feels like saying something back, but his anger is way less persistent than hers, and he stops mid sentence. He shifts a little uncomfortably on the chair, tries to gather what is still left of his composure. "Are you really going to marry him?"

"That's the plan..."

She always loved a good plan, he thinks. His hand tightens around the bottle he doesn't even remember he is holding. At some point in the discussion, he must have taken away again from her. The liquid inside it's almost all gone. Was it full before? Has she been drinking this much now, or he was drinking as well without even realizing? Sometimes he can't even tell what's real or not, and the alcohol it's definitely not helping with that. He needs a clear mind to do this, to finally settle this dispute.

"What the fuck are you doing here anyway?"

He lifts his chin in that proud way that always used to infuriate her when they were kids. Like he is about to say something that will boil up her insides, make her chew her way into her own flesh.

"I came here for you! To get you back!"

Her mouth dries up completely, but the itch is back again. She leans forward, grips the counter just a little harder. Tries to swallow the secret that has been dying to slip past her lips for years. "You never had me in the first place..." she says instead.

It's a lie and they both know it, so he gives away a little sad smile that shows just how much he knows what she's been doing to run away from those feelings: he's been doing the same fucking thing.

"I've done a lot of hiding, a whole lot of running away as fast as I could, but you were just always there."

"I'm nothing special."

"You're everything to me!" he confesses, hopelessly. "I tried my best, Sarah. I played the game like the good trooper that I am. I went out with people, and I kissed and fucked them, but every single time, it just brought me closer to this. Right here." He takes another sip, letting the alcohol take control yet another time, but regretting right after. "God, what the fuck am I doing?! I shouldn't be even—I should be as far away from you as possible. Just like you wanted me to."

She holds a full breath tightly inside her chest, too afraid to let it out and not be able to breathe it all in again afterward. Not when her heart is pounding this hard inside her chest, and the whole kitchen is starting to spin around her. She thinks that this might be how a heart attack feels like. Your chest so tightly compressed, that the heart will just burst right out. She snatches the bottle away from him once more and tips it back like it's water. Finishes the whole thing with one huge gulp.