Make It Make Sense: #4 in the Teenager Problems series

The Last Straw

This was the last straw. I wouldn't let Dan put me through this. Hope was sleeping in the other room, and she was ultimately all that I needed. I needed someone that was purely mine, and she was. Hope was mine, whether anyone liked it or not; I signed the papers. Maybe I would never understand. I didn't care if anything happened from then on. I embraced my little girl as she slept, and the world felt right. She stirred in my arms and looked up at me, her blue eyes glazed with sleep. "I love you, Hope." I felt like I meant it, but deep down, I was very sure I wouldn't love again, and I was wrong. My heart wasn't completely broken. I still understood the meaning of love, and I wore my depression and need on my sleeve. When Hope mumbled an I love you back, I knew that, somehow, I would love again. I'd be surprised at who my heart picked.

I met him when I was two, and we fought constantly. Lance Morgan was his name, and as we drifted into middle school and high school, we didn't feel the need to even speak with each other anymore. He matured and was the star of the basketball team until Dan stole his place. As president of the student counsel, he worked to better the school. Seeing the way he was, you wouldn't think he could ruin his life and drop out of school like the rest of us did, but one day, he stopped by my house and plopped on the couch. His hair slid into his eyes, and I immediately looked him over, head to toe. I'd never checked a guy out before, but it happened. He'd grinned openly at me, letting me know that he'd caught the look. "What's up, Lexie?" His grin mocked me into speaking.

"What are you doing here, Lance?" He flinched at my words, and I realized they were insulting.

"I honestly don't know. I was passing your house and remembered us. You know, the us that fought a lot, but still had fun together. I decided that I should be reckless again. I miss that." Lance said these words loud and clear, but I didn't believe him. "Then I remembered your, uh, scars and felt like you needed someone here for you. I'm here."

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. This doesn't seem to be the place you'd go. I just... I don't know why you're here after this long. The last words to come out of your mouth were saying to leave you alone and shut the fuck up. Forever. I accepted that you didn't want to be friends with me anymore." I sat beside him, and he gazed at me with a look that made my heart overreact. Lance grabbed my arm and held it, smiling. He sure was a happy dropout, I thought.

"I fucked up," the smile became more pronounced, "and I wish I hadn't. You were a great friend to have. I wonder if we could still be friends." Lance dropped my arm and stood, towering over me. He walked towards the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out a beer. "Like old times?" I laughed; we used to sneak my mother's beer when she was gone. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Thanks, Lance." I took the Light from his hand and felt him sit back down beside me. "Like old times. I sure miss those days. Now, I hope to live through every day. What I'd do to go back, and the brokenness I'm feeling? That would go away..."

"I agree, Lexie. I must say that I've missed you. That life isn't here anymore. We've changed." His lips formed a thin line. "You've changed."

"I know," my heart squeezed, and threatened to stop. "I have missed you, too." My heartbreak almost broke the surface, and I felt tears sting the back of my eyes.

"Can we hang out? Like, can I stay here?" Lance could feel that something was wrong. That hadn't changed.

"My mom won't know. She never knows anything."

"So she wouldn't know if I did this," he raked his eyes up and down my body, and I flushed, "and that that was your reaction?"

"No, Lance. She would never know. Our record isn't exactly clean, so I wouldn't ever think of telling her, either." I turned away, realizing I was now face-to-face with a couch. I let out a small sigh, turning back around. I didn't want to get into this. Lance nodded slightly and took the other couch. He laid down, and I giggled when both his head and feet dangled from the arms. He tipped his head back and gave me a teasing glare. He only proceeded to make me laugh more when he spilled his beer on the coffee table, pretending to be angry at me.