A lifetime

Wildflower

Finally, she discovered me, she saw me observing her from my car. It was kind of creepy, she came directly to my car window and stood right there with her arms folded, I felt embarassed instantly

"I thought you've left hours ago" - she said with confusion drawn all over her face.

"Weeeell..." - I was trying to think what to answer- "My car wouldn't turn on" I lie, but I can't tell her that I've been parked right in front of her house 4 hours either watching her or thinking about her, that's just really weird to say.  I've been sitting in my car going through my day with her, we only played cards and drank alcohol, while listening to Joy Divison and Black Sabbath songs. Even though, we didn't do much to me it was a whole adventure, like going into outern space, or like walking down a yard full of daisies. Everytime I thought about her daisies came up, she's just like a daisie, so simple and graceful, but beautiful, that's just her.

"I can help you turn it on, if you want" she says with arrogance, (She's also good with cars) God, is something this girl can't do?

I half smile, "Oh, no thank you, I'll just try again". —I turn the car's key and it inmediately turns on, of course. Fucking car.

"Okay I guess that's it— "I say, suddenly interrupted by her entering my car and placing a CD of The Wombats in my hands.

"Listen to it—she whispers while she climbs down the car and walks directly to her house, she shouts out, Goodbye, you"

I wave goodbye at her, trying to speak, but the CD took me for surprise. She's always unpredictable. I wait for her to enter her house so I can leave, but she never does, she's outside watering her flowers,dancing —and of course she's barefoot.

That's how I imagine her soul... full of flowers. She had flowers everywhere around her house. Watering them on 2:30 am in the morning is one of her hobbies. She's just —crazy, maybe—amazing.

I dreamt about her that night. I dreamt about her dancing in the rain she was so happy and full of life that I thought it was a memory. It was so true. Except I knew it wasn't a memory because since I met her, she's rarely that happy, and when she is, is because of alcohol. 

That was a wonderful dream, I hope dreams come true, I really wish they do. I would love to be there watching her laugh, dancing with her down the pouring rain.

 You are special, someway, I know you are. And I don't mean it in the "she's my special one"  way, I mean it, there's something in you.

Suddenly, she started crying and ran away. I woke up, listening how the rain touched the roof of my apartment. That dream made me wanna go running to her house to comfort her. I want to go and fall asleep with her, tell her I'll never leave , tell her I will protect her. Tell her that I dreamt about her and she was looking gorgeous in that long white dress. Tell her how she made me feel.

My phone rang, it was her. 

-I need you

Then a voice mail, "I thought I was enough, I thought I was okay, I'm not sure anymore" she sounded like if she had been drinking and crying all these hours.

-What happened? Are you okay. I'm going right now.

She sometimes texts me late at night or in the early morning, but there was something different, in her voice this time.

When I saw that text, my heart stopped for a second. I swear

March 10