Markjae Wonderland

My Sunshine

Red. Red everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, on their faces, on their bodies. Everything is coated with the the bright color that Youngjae claimed was his favorite. It was such a cheery color, especially when associated with the young boy, yet at the moment, just the sight of it made Mark queasy and brought bile to the back of his throat. 

And the smell... Mark was sure that the vomit he was keeping down was sure to surface if he kept breathing in the sickening scent that overpowered his nose. He wanted nothing more than to escape, but he couldn't; not while his lover was lying limp in his arms, the life slowly fading from his usually bright brown eyes, the eyes that Mark had grown to love so dearly, that were now an ugly dull brown, their brightness having been lost so long ago.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine."

The soft singing that had come from Youngjae brought all of Mark's focus to him, the image of Youngjae's bloody body bringing another surge of tears to Mark's already sore eyes.

"You're going to be okay."

Those words seemed to fall from Mark's mouth every second or so, but even he knew that Youngjae wasn't going to be okay at all. The never-ending tears mixed with snot that covered Mark's face was proof of that. He knew all too well that the one he cherished the most, the one he swore to protect, the one he would have given his own life to save, was slowly leaving this world. Nothing he could do now could save the boy in his arms, and all Mark could do was cradle him in his arms and whisper those little white lies. They were the only things, other than Youngjae's gentle singing, keeping him from completely breaking down.

"You make me happy when skies are gray."

Be strong. Mark kept chanting that same mantra to himself as the lyrics rolled off of Youngjae's lips. 

As if sensing his wavering form, Youngjae's hand rose slowly to caress Mark's face and wipe a few tears away. Mark choked down another sob as he brought his own shaky hand on top of his to, his own hand desperately searching for any warmth left in his lover.

Oh, how cold his hand felt against his hot cheeks.

"You''ll never know, dear,"

By now, Youngjae's weakening voice was like a thousand daggers being pierced into Mark's chest, and it was killing him to know that there was nothing he could do to save his reason to live and the only person who had ever shown him the love he never knew existed.

"How much I love you."

But it's hard, you know? It's hard having to listen to the same song he used to sing to Youngjae whenever his own little sunshine was down in the dumps.

He didn't want to listen to the song anymore, but the feeble smile Youngjae kept on his lips as he sang to Mark entranced him to the point of forcing himself to endure it all. 

"Please don't take,"

Youngjae's voice was barely above a whisper now, but it sounded so loud in the deafening silence around them.

Why did the universe hate him so much? 

Why did it have to take his happiness away? 

Why now, when they had been joyfully planning their future together just the day before? 

Why now?

Why him?

"My sunshine,"

Mark broke down then and there when the coldness of Youngjae's hand slipped away from him, and he swears, no, he knows a part of him died when the boy he had been holding ever so gently in his arms fell completely lifeless, the last word of the song barely escaping his lips.

"Away. . ."