Jane longed to see her mother as she washed her family’s linen. She yearned for her warm embrace and her comforting smile. She would know what to do. The choice set before Jane was impossibly difficult. If she stayed with her husband John, she knew he would continue to beat her. If she left him, who knew how angry he could potentially become. What was to say that John will not come after me and take me back? Or behave threateningly towards my family? There was no way of knowing what he may do.
She scrubbed away at the bed sheets as she fretted. Her fingernails were useless to her because they were almost non-existent from her nervous biting.
Perhaps, she should leave. What do I have to lose? The worst that could happen would be for John to force her to come back and live with him, which was exactly what she was already doing. It was exciting for Jane to dream about leaving her husband and becoming an independent woman. Truly, the idea seemed perfect.
But Jane’s situation was not quite so simple. She had an obligation to also do what was best for her two children. They were young, quite young - Matthew was six, and Elizabeth was only four. Jane knew she had a responsibility to look after them. There was no way that she could leave them alone with John while she ran off to make a better life for herself. A mother does not abandon her children. Not to a nasty husband and father, not ever.
But then what? Either Jane took Matthew and Elizabeth with her, or they all stayed with John. There were no other alternatives. It was a harrowing moment for Jane when she realised how trapped she really was. She was sickened with herself when she was tempted to wish she never had children, because it would have made her situation simpler.
But truly, her children were what made life worthwhile for Jane. They brought joy to her life, and a sparkle to the eyes of everyone around them. They were innocent and flawless, and Jane yearned to be as pure, and live as freely as they.
The situation would most likely become escalated if Jane tried to tear the children from their father. They were young and naïve of his nature. A father is their child’s hero. For Jane, this was a frightening thought. How she would hate herself for staying with her husband if her children became abusive themselves because of their father’s influence! Jane knew it was time to leave John. He was dangerous to her, and dangerous for Matthew and Elizabeth. Yes - she would pack all of her things and leave with her head held high, and she would take her children and begin an independent life of her own.
If only she could. She and her children belonged to her husband. Jane may get as far as the closest road, and then what would she do? With no money, no home, no food, subjected to the winter streets with two young children to nurture, she would surely die. Not to mention the strong possibility of her husband finding them. Jane yearned for freedom.
She turned her attention to the birds in the trees, and the insects in the grass beneath her. They seemed so pure and content, as though they had not a worry in the world. The beading rays of golden light upon the moist ground allowed a sparkle of beauty to trickle through the blades of grass. The worms in the soil even seemed beautiful to Jane. As a flying bird soared above her head and cast a shadow like a cloud, she wished she could be so free.
Since Jane had married John and moved with him to the big city, she had lost contact with her parents. Her mother and father had been very much in favour of Jane marrying John, in fact, they arranged it. Her father basically forced her to marry John. What would he say if he ever learnt that I am planning on leaving him? Her father was a strange case - in some ways, he had always cared for and looked after his family. Jane had always known him to be sweet and pleasant with her mother, and with herself and her siblings. But in another sense, Jane’s father could be forceful. He was so determined for Jane to marry John that he had told her he would not continue to look after her if she did not accept his hand.
The day her father told her of this, Jane felt as though she no longer knew him. As though all of his compassion had disappeared, and there was no emotion left within him. Had he wanted to rid himself of a mouth to feed? Had he wanted to discard his own daughter? Or was he in financial trouble, and thus sacrificed the happiness of his daughter to free himself of burden?
It almost felt as though Jane’s life had been a lie, as though all of the times that her father had ever held her, and Jane had thought he had been sincere - perhaps he had really been pretending. How worthless and inferior Jane felt. Jane yearned for her father’s approval and love.
That day, John struck Matthew with his belt and Jane knew that there was no longer a choice before her. No doubt about the matter. It was her duty to get her children away from her husband. It was time to leave. Within a few swift minutes, Jane had packed her life into a suitcase and led her children out of the house and into the craziness of the city streets. It was over at last.
Rationale:
I chose the line, ‘It was over at last’, from ‘Bliss’. My inspiration for this piece comes from the motion picture, ‘The Duchess’. The protagonist, played by Keira Knightley, is a woman trapped in a world she loathes. Her husband is powerful and abusive, and bullies her about in a marriage she does not want to be in.
Katherine Mansfield also expresses issues within marital relationships through her stories. I think Jane in my short story is living a distressing life and it is meant to provoke thoughts in the reader about the way women were ‘owned’ in the time that the story was set. It is also similar to many situations nowadays, where a parent may be torn between staying with their spouse for the sake of their children, or leaving and thus creating a perhaps troubled life for their kids. This reflects back to Katherine Mansfield’s piece, where the wife is discovering her husband’s infidelity. Although it is not apparent in my piece that Jane’s husband is being unfaithful to her, the theme of dissatisfaction in Jane’s marriage is consistent with Katherine Mansfield’s characters.
Relationship between husband and wife. I have expressed relationship troubles through the unsatisfying marriage between Jane and John. Jane asks herself rhetorical questions, which I believe flow from her despair: ‘What was to say that John will not come after me and take me back? Or behave threateningly towards my family?’, ‘What do I have to lose?’, ‘But then what?’, ‘What would he say if he ever learnt that I am planning on leaving him?’ Her stream of consciousness expresses the torment she experiences. Like how Katherine Mansfield’s characters reveal their inner feelings, Jane’s personal input provides a window through which the reader can deeply understand her situation.
‘She turned her attention to the birds in the trees, and the insects in the grass beneath her. They seemed so pure and content, as though they had not a worry in the world. The beading rays of golden light upon the moist ground allowed a sparkle of beauty to trickle through the blades of grass. The worms in the soil even seemed beautiful to Jane. As a flying bird soared above her head and cast a shadow like a cloud, she wished she could be so free.’ This paragraph from my creative depicts the visual privilege that is nature, and it is designed not only to align with Katherine Mansfield’s vivacious descriptions of the physical environment in her stories, but also to allow the reader to have a break from the seriousness and darkness of Jane’s situation.
Lastly, I have created an ambiguous ending, leaving the reader perhaps uncertain of what really happens in the end. Do Jane and her children get away safely? Do they realise they won’t last out in the world by themselves and thus return? Does Jane ever see her parents again and resolve the issues with her father? We don’t know. Katherine Mansfield also left endings unexplained, which I tried to reflect within my short story. I believe that I have successfully portrayed a unique creative, while keeping Katherine Mansfield’s themes significantly present in my piece.
