summer love ∞ h. s.

0.3

jasmine

By the time we left Grilby's, everything seemed to be back to normal. Sierra made a comment about a girl's wacky eyeliner, making us both laugh as we got into my car. I was glad the mood was light again. Tension had a tendency to upset me greatly.

I remembered when I was much younger, and my parents used to fight a lot. There were nights when neither would speak much at all, and the tension was so thick I could hardly breathe. It made my chest tighten and my stomach churn. The negativity killed any hopes I had for life. If that was what marriage looked like, what was the point?

Renee was all I had. We'd hide out in our room during their fights, trying to play with our dolls and ignore the yelling. We tried to act like everything was okay, even though it wasn't.

She was three years older than me and always tried to protect me. Even after our parents passed, she tried to act like a mother. That was when the tension moved to her and me. We fought pretty often, about responsibility and authority, because she kept acting like she was in charge. But it was our grandmother who got custody of us. She didn't like being reminded of that.

And music was my escape. One Direction's music was my favorite. Their songs made me feel. . .worth something. When Renee criticized me, the lyrics encouraged me. That's why I loved it. That's why I was going to this concert.

The traffic nearing the arena was terrible, but jamming out to "Kiss You" and "Rock Me" made it easier to handle. After several minutes, I finally found a parking spot and swung my car into it.

Turning it off, I looked at Sierra and squealed. "I'm so excited!"

"I know! I am too!" She clapped a few times before opening her door and getting out.

I opened my own door and stepped out into the sticky night air. Arkansas was almost always humid, especially in the summer. It was gross, but I'd grown accustomed to it.

I couldn't get Harry off my mind, though. As we found our seats, which felt miles away from the stage, I kept replaying the scene in my head. The bitter smile I'd given him must've hurt. I'd seen the pain I'd caused in his eyes– but now, I couldn't even remember what color they were. I silently cursed myself. How could I have missed such an important part of him? Then I realized he probably hadn't paid attention to my eye color either.

It was silly. Feeling guilty over a few harsh words to a celebrity was silly. As I thought about it, though, I considered how I would've reacted in his position. Shit. I probably would've cried or something.

I'd hurt him. I needed to make amends.

I didn't hear anything they said as they walked out onto the stage. I stood, gazing down helplessly at him. Harry Styles. His perfect brown curls, his perfect smile– Wait.

I narrowed my eyes. He wasn't talking to the crowd like the others were, and his smile was. . .not genuine. I clenched my fists. He was still bothered by our encounter. Of course he was! Any normal human being would be upset by such a rude comment. God, I was so stupid.

I frowned and sank into my seat, crossing my arms. What have you done, Jasmine?

Hours later, the concert was over. I'd managed to lose myself in the music, jumping up and down and singing the lyrics to myself. I couldn't hear anything else. I couldn't even hear my thoughts, and that was a wonderful thing.