In One Month

p•r•o•l•o•g•u•e

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?
-Black, Pearl Jam
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"Is this what you really want?" I heard my lawyer-slash-best friend ask me.

I sighed. "What more can I do?"

I smiled sadly at the papers in front of me. The words mocking me as I tried to stop my tears from falling harder than they already are.

I've made up my mind.

I did. For quite some time.

And although I'm not ready, I think it's time to let him be.

I called Sasha as soon as I finished packing all my belongings. I haven't found a house to live in yet, and there's no way I'll be staying for a few more days, until I could find one, in our house when all I could hear are the passionate sounds of two people in love.

The girl from those two was supposed to be me. I had the right. I had the right to be by his side rather than that girl, who I admit looks more beautiful than me and even had a kind heart, who didn't have the ring on her finger.

I had the right.

I was his wife.

I don't know when, or how it happened. But I remembered seeing the love I thought was strong, was not as it seemed to be.

And I'm the only one left picking up the broken pieces of what I thought was an eternal marriage. Not blissful, but forever.

But I couldn't blame him.

"You're zoning out again." I heard Sasha say.

He deserved the best. As most people say.

"Carrylle, please stop crying, you're making me cry too."

And it just so happened...

"Carrylle..."

I wasn't the best for him.