Is it still me that makes you sweat? (Ryan Ross x Reader)

Who?

        OMG I AM SUPER SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING AAHHH IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF===========================================================================

(Y/N) P.o.v

I told Melanie that I am going to go visit Breadbin and them downstairs and she at come with if she wants to. I walked down the stairs and found a razor and a note that says "Kys" - unknown

damn someone really wants me dead who though? Ryan? Brendon? Sarah? Melanie? WHO?? I guess I can just show Sarah but I will leave that note right there for now. I need to go see Ryan any way. Melanie went to go talk to Brendon and Sarah. Of course I go into the kitchen but I don't see Ryan. Hmmmm. "HI!" I felt hands go onto my shoulders I let out a little scream but then I turned around to see Ryan laughing his ass off. "God damnit Ryan! You scared me!" He said sorry and gave me puppy dog eyes..... oh my god how cute can this guy get. I heard something falling to the ground outside... hmm it is snowing. I hear Sarah scream," ITS SNOWING YAYYYY!" I look out the window to see the white ice falling to the ground. It reminds me of things........ bad things.

Xxxxxxx flashbackxxxxxxxx

(warning drug and suicide)

I went to the kitchen and saw my dad drinking multiple beers.. Then I saw it... it looked like snow. But then I realized it was cocaine... I quickly ran outside only to see my brother on the roof. Before I could react he jumped. I went over to him and said, "Jackson! JACKSON! Please.... please no.. why? PLEASE WAKE UP!" I held onto his body and looked for a pulse...  there was none.. But I did find something.... a suicide note. I ran inside, got my mom. Showed her my now. Dead and helpless brother. She quickly called 911. There was snow outside and seeing as my brother was really light I ran inside and got blankets for him. I didn't care about anything else. Or me. After the ambulance came we went to the hospital to see..... Jackson. He was alive?

xxxxxxxxxx flashback xxxxxxxxxxx

I was so caught up in the flashback I didn't realize I was crying. The salty warm tears felt.... weird.. not normal like they shouldn't be there. Why normally it is normal for me to have tears pouring down my face? I looked at my wrist and saw the scars (Dads Name) caused me to give myself. I cried even more and clung onto Ryan who was rubbing my back. He wiped away my warm tears and then kissed my forehead and then (A/N my cat stepped on my keyboard i had to erase a ton of b's) carried me into the living room I heard alot of awwws and oooohs then I heard Ryan shhhh everyone then everyone went back to watching Family Guy. Ryan sat me down on the couch and sat down next to me. I laid my head onto his shouler and he then put his arm around my neck and started playing with my hair. I heard Sarah saying, "GEt a room you two!" i replied with,"K we will take yours, sarah!" my voice still sounding broken sarah honestly just screamed ,"NUUUUUUUUU" Damn the snow really is piling up out there... I WANNA HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT (A/N when you wanna have a snowball fight but you live in Illinois and it is summer and you are dying inside)  "LEts have a snowball fight!" I shouted with a bit too much excitement........ "FIRST LETS GET EVERYONE ELSE TO COME OVER!"

Crazy======================Genius

SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK and my parents force me to go places for Pokémon go uhhhhhh. imma listen to Gerard way moan when I get home

(L.A Devotee, Miss Jackson, and The Ballad Of Mona Lisa by Panic!)