The Agonies Of A Lonely Heart

You made me feel treasured,
like a gem- a precious gem,
rare and beautiful.
I want to be your girl,
but there are fears inside my head.
I have too many issues to face and I don't want to tarnish your sweet soul of all the bullshits I have in my life.

It's been a long time you know that someone made me feel this special, and it felt good, knowing that I still have that charm.
I still have that beauty to entice the opposite.
However, love should not be based on outward appearance, the heart and soul matters the most.
And unfortunately, mine is not good enough qualification to brand me as your lady.
You are so driven, so smart, so confident, so sweet and pure in heart, that if seated beside you, I would be nothing but just a pretentious, selfish, vexatious bitch.
I would be so insecure, because you have achieved so many great things.
I know that if I'm your girl I would be so proud of you, but what would be the things you will be proud of me too?
Nothing- there are nothing about me you should be proud of.
And I felt so bad;
no it hurts me so bad cognizing that I can never be your girl.

I'm just like a bird,
soaring,
flying the way back home in the surging storm.

I'm still looking for that home that will abates all the pain, insecurities, and all the struggles I've been facing.

I just hope though that one day, when you're loving rays shuns my dark clouds away,
I certainly and dearly hope that you will still be there ready to accept me, to help me mend the broken pieces of my life.
I trust that you will help me start anew,
and that together we will build dreams- dreams that are possible if we do it together.

I know it's still early but I'm on the brink of loving you,
so please be good to me and my heart.
I want you to do that.
And I'll give my best to be the girl you can show off to your friends,
to your family and to the whole world; that you'll be able to say "There's my girl and I'm so proud of her."
Someday soon,
I guess my darling,
until then.