The Girl Who Is Missing from the Picture

The Girl Who is Missing in the Picture

There I was, staring at a picture,but not just any picture.

It was the first class photo for the school year from a performance task.

A performance task I was absent for.

Earlier in the week, the class was assigned by group to perform different periods (panahon ng katutubo, espanyol,amerikano, at hapon) in relation to the evolution of language. It was for Komunikasyon at Pananaliksik, a subject i felt was neutral to me. Our group was assigned panahon ng katutubo and I could hear my worries:

"Aw man, will you be able to contribute to this groupwork?"

"You don't have any ideas to pitch. You are gonna let them take pity on you."

"They won't want you as a groupmate."

Then during break I was encouraged by my reoccurring classmate from Grade 8 to remember an output from back then.

" May ginawa rin tayong ganito dati, naalala mo?"

"Mmmmm, o-oo. Wait lang, ilista ko yung mga ginawa natin noon."

I got some paper and started writing the things the caveman did that we featured  3 years ago. I concentrated really hard but I could only write a few things. When I was finished I didn't realized I zoned out. My classmate has already made a chant and I could hear progress in the background.

"Para sa performance yan?"

"Pwede natin gawing informance"

"Pero paano kaya gagawin?"

The plan is already developing quickly, with most the groupmates already getting into the idea. I just stayed silent and gave the paper I wrote to the first classmate.

"Dapat related sa wika."

"Oo nga."

Hmmm, I guess I should've thought about that before I wrote it down. I went astray from the main topic.

To save myself from disappointment, I offered to make any props if necessary. It has been what I can do best since junior year.  They considered my offer. At least 4 of my groupmates stayed after school to plan the informance more extensively.

I went home and plopped in front of the computer to rest my tired mind. I mostly surfed through facebook and youtube before going upstairs to nap.  When I woke up, I found my younger sister reading aloud off twitter:

Everyone in the house (which was me, my sister, dad and our dog) was whooping and getting ready for a long, less worrisome day off from the weekly routine. Classes also got suspended the next day so we got a long weekend. On Friday night I went online  to see any updates on our group performance plan. All I saw  was the chant recorded and typed in the chat. We should memorize it they said. I tried memorizing it then but I wanted to enjoy the long weekend, so I postponed it.

I went online again on Sunday night to finally get to the chant when I read in the chat,

"Ceres, nagawa mo yung headwear?"

Oh no, I didn't know I needed to make headwear.

I asked if the headwear is for all and

"Kaya mo? Bayaran ka na nalang namin,salamat"

"Hindi ko kasi alam paano gagawin eh"

I didn't want to let them down , so I agreed to make the headwear. It was already 10pm and I had to make 7 of them. I already made a prototype of what my groupmates want me to make so it was a matter of speedy but sturdy mass production. My sister did accounting for me to see how much my classmates should pay and my dad helped me with any extra work. Thanks to them, my classmates would have to pay P28 and we finished at 2am, Monday morning. I am used to being sleep deprived plus I have been oversleeping for the past four days. Even though my sister's calculations are accurate, I don't want like asking a big amount like that from my classmates. My dad said it is reasonable because I used folder cardboard and staples so the headwear will last for a time. With this thinking in mind, I went to get my remaining 4 hours of sleep soundly.

When I went to school I wore a jacket because I found the weather cold despite it actually being average. I was surprised to find my  groupmates waiting for me, of course knowing why.

"Nagawa mo?"

"Yung?"

"Yung mga headdress"

"Ay oo, ito."

I took the headwear out of my big miscellaneous bag and gave all of them one.

They were fascinated on how it was made and how to wear it. I had to ask a guard to but rubber bands for it. We wore it like tiaras. The feathers were tall that it made us look like native queens.We were excited for the performance, even if I haven't memorized the chant. The teacher for the subject didn't attend to class that day so the performance was moved for tomorrow.

After classes I stayed for groupings  since the performance was tomorrow. They brought me up to speed and got more excited to perform. I went home very happy and hopeful.

"Yehey, I am able to catch up"

"They are so patient in teaching me"

"I really want to perform tomorrow"

And Tuesday morning, the worst possible thing happened. I had to go to the bathroom multiple times and was dehydrated. I couldn't go to school that day, the day of the informance. I wanted to cry but my pains were distracting me. My sister went absent too because I didn't go to school. With no one left at the house but our dog, we went out to have me checked up at a hospital where my uncle was waiting for us, who was the doctor.

We got home at around 10pm with my grandma. I checked Facebook for updates and my close friend in the class told me

"Or Comm nagparty na activity pala and may bago tayong classroom"

Oh man, oh man, oh man I missed out on a lot and that was just one day. 

While I was falling to sleep, I kept thinking of the things I have missed. 

"A party? How could I have missed that?"

"And a new classroom? Where will I sit?"

I got to the new classroom with the help of a classmate. It was on the 4th floor which wasn't good for my quick recovery. My group mates savedme a seat and gave the payment for the headwear. One of them even kept mine, how thoughtful of her. I must've been a real bother for them because I went absent but they said it was okay. The performance went well. I could've gone absent also on the day but there was another performance for a different subject and I didn't want to miss anymore performances. That time I was able to perform.

Later that evening, one of my groupmates posted a picture in the chat.

There I was, staring at the picture, but not just any picture.

It was the first class photo for this year from a perfmance task.

A performance task I was better off not doing.

If I did attend school that day, I still wouldn't be able to perform because I was sick. I got to spend time with my family who genuinely cared for me. They didn't let me worry about anything and I got better.

I'll just have to take care of my health from now on.