Secret Family

She Needs Me

"Dad!" Someone says loudly.

"What? Yeah, I'm up." I say, rubbing my eyes.

"You're laying on of volleyball jersey!" Lizzie says, "I'm gonna be late for school and I have a game later!"

I sit up and she snatches it off the couch before jogging out the front door.

I run a hand over my face.

I walk into the kitchen, surprised to see Kathy sitting at the kitchen table.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and she sets the newspaper down, looking up at me.

"I called the station last night, Cragen said you weren't there. He never called you in. Liv wasn't there either. They didn't catch any cases last night." She says, "So where were you?"

"I-" I start.

The front door opens and my oldest daughter walks in the kitchen.

"Maureen." Kathy says, getting up to hug her, "I didn't know you were stopping by this morning."

"Lizzie left her volleyball knee pads in my car last weekend, she said she needed them for a game today." She says, "But its seven-thirty so I'm guessing I just missed her."

"Yeah, you did." Kathy says with a soft smile.

For the first time in a really long
time I'm actually looking at Kathy.

She looks older, older than her years. She looks tired. And the tiredness that I've been mistaking for that of a tired mother of four looks different to me now. It's the tiredness of a mother of four who's been raising her kids by herself. Who's been acting as a single mother even though she's married.

Kathy's thirty-eight. And she looks decades older. Stress does that to a person.

And Olivia. She's thirty-six and looks a decade younger.

And I think that might be because I've always taken care of Olivia. Protected her. Done my best to take on as much of her stress as I can so she's not hurting.

I've always made sure Olivia knows she's not alone in the world or in anything she does. And I've never done that for my wife.

"I'm gonna try to grab Lizzie before her first period." Maureen says.

She starts to walk away before she stops.

"Oh, Dad, I ran into Liv at the coffee shop this morning." She says.

I feel the blood drain from my face and my stomach drops.

"How come you didn't tell us she was having a baby?" Maureen asks.

"Olivia's having a baby?" Kathy asks.

"Yeah, from the looks of it any day now." Maureen says.

"Must of slipped my mind." I say, taking a drink from the coffee.

"You and Olivia are attached at the hip, how did it slip your mind that she's nine months pregnant?" Maureen asks.

I shrug.

"Such a guy." Maureen says under her breath.

Both Maureen and Kathy roll their eyes before returning their attention back to each other.

My phone rings and I thank god silently.

"Stabler."

"Stabler, get ya ass over to Central Park!" Fin yells into the phone.

I pull it away from my ear as he keeps yelling.