INK [ongoing]

2. Walk

Sean Goh took in a deep breath as he walked through the streets of Edenton. His eyes were glued to the sidewalk, seemingly observing his shoes as he walked home from school.

He'd taken the same route for the past seven years (since the middle school he attended was just across the street) and he would repeat the same actions as always. The teenager couldn't help it that he was a creature of habit, he simply wished the habit wasn't such an agonizing one.

For any other teenager it would be a pleasant experience. Each sidewalk was surrounded one of two things: Father and Son storefronts that wouldn't be found past the 'Welcome to Edenton: The Cheeriest Town in Washington!' or by tall trees that covered the mountainside.

Sean found it relaxing when no one else joined him. When he could keep his head up and not have to worry about looking people in the eyes. When there were no suspiciously friendly old women trying to talk to him. The solitude found in roaming these deserted roads: that was Sean's favorite feeling in the world.

It appeared, however, that he wouldn't experience that feeling as He heard a voice shout behind him, "Hey, Goh!"  The already racing heart in his chest seemed to launch out of his skin and through his thin hoodie.

Without any hesitation the Korean boy continued his walk, picking up his pace as subtly as possible.

It was one of the many differences between Aubrey, Andrew, and him that was rather apparent. In this situation, Aubrey would have twirled around with a wide smile on her face.
Andrew, as Sean knew and loved him, probably would have whipped around with a huff or would have just flipped the person behind off.

"Hey, dude, wait up!" The voice rang out again, closer this time. It was the voice of a boy and it was riddled with the raspiness of a sixty-year-old smoker.

If you don't start facing your fears you'll get nowhere, my love. His mother's voice bursts into his mind. A small part of the anxious teen wanted to believe the advice. Something in him refuted to fact to an extent he could control.

His palms, though they're already tightened around his backpack straps, begin to grow clammy as he slows his pace.

A large boy-more of a behemoth than a boy honestly- stepped into his peripheral vision. Sporting a jersey and wreaking of B.O. it was clearly a football player. He sported a sideways smile that seemed forced more than genuine.

"For such a lanky guy you can speed walk like hell. Like damn, man." The behemoth kids, punching him in the shoulder as a friendly gesture. A lump jumps into Sean's throat.

A series of phrases runs through his mind, but he decides that it would be better to keep quiet.

"Hey, it's no biggie, bro," His companion says with a shrug, "I was wondering if you got the supply list from English Lit today? I was off with Kimberly Telucchi during second period." The football player explains to him.

Sean swallows down the lump in his throat,
"I have it." He simply says, nodding up at the boy next to him.

"Cool, can I take a pic of it or something?" The behemoth asks happily, wiping his phone out of his pocket. Sean wordlessly pulls his backpack around his body. It lands with a satisfying thump against the concrete.

After taking a couple pictures the football players thanks him and invites him to the football game before running off. Following him was the weight of anxiety that was resting on Sean's body.

The sun seems to shine brighter as he keeps walking. Ironically, he lived the farthest away from school. It was simply a reminder that no matter how much he tried: Sean Gho would always be an outsider.

The raven-haired boy pulled away from the sidewalk to step into the grass of his front yard. Standing on the porch outside was his father, waiting for his son to arrive. Unlike Sean he had dark, tan skin and a personality similar to that of Chris Rock.

"Hey, Seanie. How was your first day of school?" His father calls out, walking out to meet him. The teenager shrugs nervously,
"It was..." Sean waits for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

His father stares down at him expectantly and he could already tell what he was thinking.
Jesus, I hope he had a good day. For once. Sean knew that was it.

"It was great. I'm going to a party later. With-With Aubrey and Andrew." Sean says with a wide smile. He watches in relief as his father lets out a sigh. His eyes go wide and he too smiles.

"That's awesome, man. God, that's awesome. Did Aubrey invite you or did you ask her if she..?" Sean cuts his dad off quickly,
"It was kind of like a mutual thing, Pops." He feeds into what he knew his father wanted to hear.

All of his life, Sean has wanted to do nothing but live up to his parents expectations. That tended to make his anxiety much worse...
But it was all worth it if he got to see them react as his father was right now.

He'd always been stressed to be perfect for them. Who wouldn't? He was the adopted child of an infertile couple.

"Damn, Sean. Next thing you know you'll be asking Aubrey out and skipping class with Andr- Okay don't skip class with Andrew, but you get what I'm saying." His dad pulls him out of his thoughts as he throws his arm over his shoulders.

"Yeah. Definitely." Sean replies, keeping his act up. The two walk into the house and part ways quickly. His father to his in-home office and Sean up to his bedroom on the second floor.

That was the only place he felt safe in. Surrounded by walls he could call his own, with posters he hung up, bundled around furniture he bought for himself.

Without thinking about it he shoots a text to the group chat that was held between Aubrey, Andrew, and him.

Do I have to have gone to a game in order to go to the bonfire? Or can I just show up? Or is it some big deal if I don't see a game first? Because there's a lot of people at the games and everyone gets all sweaty in the bleachers so...

Immediately, Andrew replies:

Dude ur fine. Quit stressing out.

With a huff, Sean flopped onto his bed. What an interesting concept that was for him:
To quit stressing out. Much like many other teenagers around America, Sean was under a constant state of anxiety. The daily question was just how bad it turned out to be.

Today was one of his bad days to say the least.

A loud ringing filled his quiet room as a call came in from Aubrey. Displayed on screen was a picture of her making a duck face. She was Sean's best friend and his better half in every way. Where he failed she succeeded with flying colors. When he was weak she was strong.

He grabbed his phone and answered it quickly as she began her rundown of the day, passionately pouring out her experience of their first day as seniors.