Is It Cliche To Start With Dear Pilosopotasya?

I Forgot

Life is funny.. Last year has been a whirlwind of confusion, frustration, humor, and irony. And reading again everything I've written in here is like reading somebody else's words. No bitterness lingers, and all I felt while reading was curiosity on what would happen.

And as if the parting of clouds transpired, the veil was lifted up, the hallelujah chorus blares on, and one realization flickers in neon letters: I have finally moved on.

Nakakatawa kasi yung pagngawa ko about my failed relationship dati doesn't even make me flinch right now. Nakakatawa na sobra akong apektado to the point that I didn't want to see anyone, I wanted to resign because my workmates were super psyched about the wedding and I had to break the news that it's no longer happening. Time did its part in healing, and the pain once residing in my heart has been uprooted.

I've read everyone's messages and comments. And I want to express my deepest gratitude to all of you. Sometimes, even strangers can say something to alleviate the suffering. Yun ang ginawa nyo. Naging support system ko kayo when I was down. To answer someone's question, yes, he tried to win me back. Yes, he traveled to the Philippines again and again till I've forgiven him. And I did. I forgave, but I also made it clear to him that I will no longer pursue a relationship with him. I forgave him in the sense that I will no longer harbor negative emotions towards him and his ex. Forgiveness, but coupled with wisdom and caution. I learned so much during that phase and I thanked him because before everything got messed up, he had been a great friend to me. And that's all he will be: someone I thought was meant to be more to me than a friend, but God didn't want it that way.

I thought that experience will make me even more scared to trust and love. But God has given me peace in the midst of my storm, and I saw His inexhaustible love for me when man's affection failed me. I saw the outpouring of support from my friends and family, and I wont trade for anything the unlimited supply of jokes from my brothers who never failed to make me laugh even when I was mid-cry. I saw all the myriad forms and facets of love--- romantic love may have thinned during that time, but the familial and brotherly love were even stronger. To my seven guy best friends (Christian 1, Christian 2, Christopher, BJ, Daniel, John, Jared), who needs a boyfriend when I have you guys? Haha. Salamat sa pagguwardya sakin wherever I went dahil alam nyong shunga ako lalo na pag magulo utak, sa pangungulit nyo sakin at times when I didn't want to get out of bed (pero di ko kayo mapapatawad sa bagbuhos ng isang balde ng tubig sakin at sa kama ko nung akala nyo di nako magigising. Mga baliw! Mahimbing lang talaga tulog ko haha), and for cheering up not just me but also my family. Salamat nga pala sa sapilitang pagpayag na maging muntikang bridesmaids ko kahit ang mamacho nyo ;D
I cherish you guys!

I thought the almost wedding would make me cringe every time someone mentions it. I thought being cheated on would make me cower from the idea of loving again. But it didn't. I'm able to smile and laugh again!

And here's a secret.

There's a new man knocking on the walls of my heart, and I think I'll give him a chance :)