Come Back To Me

Chapter VIII- Letting Go

You desperately tried to fake a smile as Marisa kept her eyes locked with yours, waiting to meet the sheer excitement she certainly felt in them. You tried to keep up with her almost constant nodding and her outburst of emotions as she started telling you about how Ignazio had entered their room last night, almost furious; he was panting, his breathing came out almost forced. Ignazio hadn't even looked at her, she said, he'd just sat on the edge of the bed and stared out of the window for some time.

" I kept trying to get him to talk to me, but he wouldn't respond. But right when I was starting to get worried, he turned to me and simply asked the big question... Right then, I swear, I felt like the happiest girl on earth.", she said, her smile spreading all over her face.

" Oh, congratulations Marisa. Really I'm so happy for you... For the both of you.", you struggled as you spoke, making an attempt to sound as genuine as possible. As you finished your sentence, though, you noticed Ignazio's eyes stuck on you, and something that resembled a frown forming on his tightly pursed lips.

" Yeah, well, it wasn't the most romantic proposal one can manage, but at least it happened. The important thing is that he means it, isn't it? ", she said while slightly giggling, her hand now resting on Ignazio's shoulder. You smiled as widely as you could, and locked your eyes with his.

" Yes, that's absolutely what matters...", and roughly smirked bitterly. Right about then, Marisa looked at him, her smile wide as ever; he smiled back at her, but you could definitely see that it wasn't the same smile he had when you were together. His lips didn't stretch enough, forcing his cheeks up and his eyes to turn into dark, sparkling orbs of joy. Of course, you thought simultaneously, maybe that was your mind playing games on you. He had proposed to her, asked her to be his wife. How much more proof did you need to understand that your story had ended?

" God, I'm so sorry (Y/n)! Really that's what happens when I'm so excited about things, I completely forget about everything else. Tell us, did you need something? Can we help you in some way?", Marisa said, her tone slightly having acquired a tone of concern. You shook your head no, almost too quickly.

" No, no... I mean, it was something unimportant anyways. I wouldn't want to interrupt these moments of pure happiness between you two. I...", you said as you looked at him once again, forcing the tears to not spill for just a few more minutes. You smiled and completed your sentence.

" I wish you all the happiness in the world.".

You'd turned on your heels almost right after you had uttered that sentence. Having locked yourself in your room, you finally unleashed the tears that you'd been holding back. Everything was too much, it felt as if the world, your world, was crushing around you.

What exactly were you doing there? Why had you followed Ignazio in the middle of the night? You knew deep inside you that you would never be able to resist anything to him, and secretly hoped that somehow you'd manage to find each other again, restart from where you'd stopped. Obviously that wasn't the case.

With tears still in your eyes, you put your jacket on, took a couple of deep breaths and got out of the hotel room. It was time you returned. As you passed outside everybody's rooms, you recognized Piero's room as you spotted the familiar, little suitcase he'd use for his collection of various glasses. You took out the envelope he'd given you, with Ignazio's name written on it. Taking out a small sharpie from your pocket, you wrote : " It doesn't matter anymore", and slid it underneath Piero's door.

You almost ran outside, stopping only to leave your key to the reception, letting them know that the room was free.

You got out, and started walking towards the main road, trying to find a cab that would be available. However, you heard steps approaching you; almost running behind you. You turned and furrowed your eyebrows.

" Why are you doing this?", you asked softly. He shook his head, while his one hand slightly gripped his dark roots.

" I told you, you're not going back to him... I'm not going to let you.", Ignazio said strongly, which only caused a small laugh to erupt from you.

" What makes you think that you have any sort of say in what I'm going to do? It's not up to you to let me do anything, Ignazio...", you said firmly. Noticing he was left speechless, you continued.

" You... Y-ou're getting married. I am no longer the one you need to care for...", you almost whispered the last part, causing Ignazio to quickly wipe his eyes before looking at you and speaking with quivering lips.

" Something had to happen in order to force myself to realize that we're over...", he said and looked down. You cussed under your breath.

" B-ut did you ever, ever think that we could start over? Begin again, try again together?", you said, tears streaming down your cheeks freely.

" Every single moment of this year, (Y/n)... I thought of searching for you, finding you... Hell, even seeing you, touching you would have been enough for me. But then I remembered what you did, how you disappeared without caring for me, without explaining anything. I remembered, and felt, that pain again. It... It ripped me apart, (Y/n), every single time I recalled your eyes or your lips or your hands, your fingers on mine, I felt my heart burning. And I... I had to put it out... I HAVE to put it out...", he finished and sighed as he looked up.

You got closer to him, forcing him to look at you. You took a deep breath, realizing that this could probably be the last time you would see him.

" I... I hurt too, Igna... I still hurt, but I don't hide behind anything. Because you see, I wasn't lying that night, outside that restaurant. You... y-ou think you know everything that happened. B-ut you don't... And it's not your fault, or my fault. It's no one's fault, after all... Just remember and know that you were not the only one who suffered. ", you finished, and saw him looking at you, having completely given up trying to stop his tears.

You reached up to wipe some of them away, and he leaned to your touch, like he used to.

" Tell me what happened, tell me what I don't kno-w...", he mumbled, closing his eyes for a few seconds. You shook your head and softly smiled as you rubbed your fingers on his cheek.

" I-t doesn't matter anymore.... If it did, we wouldn't have ended up like this, Igna... Our feelings would have been strong enough to overcome any sort of silly obstacles fate or luck threw our way. I guess we weren't worthy of our love...", you concluded, and bit your lip as he shook his head, his eyes remaining closed.

" You're wrong, (Y/n)... It's n-ot like that, I know what I fee- felt for you, I remember don't you understand? The hardest part is remembering and knowing that we were worthy of this love... It was our-s... Please t-ell me what h-", he pleaded again, but you shook your head yet again and removed your hand from his cheek. The moment you did, however, his own touched yours, his fingers delicately caressing yours.

You felt your breath almost getting stuck on your throat, and failed to control yourself as you threw your arms around him, hugging him as tightly as you could. His arms wrapped you firmly in his embrace as well, and you both cried as you stood out of the hotel. Right then, you felt everything within you calming down, your memories, your sadness silencing, your heart beating like it should; you felt at home.

However, as you'd learned by then, those moments never last long. So, you opened your eyes, kissed him softly on his cheek as you whispered.

" I really do want you to be happy, Igna... I wish that you'll be happy with her.", you said, and you felt him shaking his head, weakly trying to keep you there with him as you'd started slowly distancing yourself from him.

" I... I can only be happy if I am with you... P-lease, I don't care if you don't tell me what happened, I... Just don't do this to me... Don't do this again.. Sta-y...", he said, his sobbing not allowing his words to come out clearly.

It took all your power to force his arms away from you, especially since you could clearly see how it was affecting him; you were breaking his heart. Yet, you had to do it, you had to give him a chance in happiness.

" Goodbye Ignazio.".