Masked

I would say that I have been through hell and back again. Others have it worse but this is me.

I was in the sixth grade when my life began to drop off. It started with a few potholes, an argument, the occasional hurtful comment. But when my already rough road turned into a cliff was when my best friend whom I told everything decided to hang around bad people. And I don't mean they just said dumb stuff. They were the king of people that just standing near made you uncomfortable. They did drugs. They raided their parents achohol stashes. They did dumb things and she thought it was cool. I being the stuck up Christan that I am, did not want to be around them. I warned her they would get her into bad spots but she didn't listen. From the outside it was full of creepy sexual desires. I tried one last time. But days after I begged her to get away from them I woke up one morning to find my phone spammed with messages. Your such a whore. You can't do anything right. What a waste of space. How could anyone love a creature so ugly they aren't even human? How dare you think you are better than us? You are a meaningless slut.

She had given them my phone number. I put in the only mask I had.I went to school the next day and her and her gang stood right there waiting for me. They looked at me full of pure hatred and forced me to relive each day my deepest darkest memories whlist creating new ones. They laid off after a few horrifying months of waking up each morning to put on a mask. But not after they had ripped away my shell. Leaving me exposed their horrible words sank in. And my shadow was born. It followed me everywhere. Whispering hate whenever it could. Slowly tearing me down from the inside. While I was hidden behind a mask of fake smiles. You are such a waste of space. It would say.  No body loves you. You are fat and ugly. You try way too hard. And when I tried to push back. You need me. Without me you are nothing. I am protecting you. You love me. It would tell me I couldn't survive on my own. Each day was like putting on a mask. Until the most pitch black moment I ever sat in. Ill bet that no one would notice you are even gone. Why not just kill yourself? And I almost did. Then I got a phone call from my grandma. "You haven't been posting on Instagram. Is everything all right?" I hung up the phone right then and there. The shadow stopped gripping my shoulders. That night I learned that the best way to dispell darkness is to stand in the light. My shadow came back. Now I know to stand in the light. No more masks.