Conscience:
Hello, patient 24602.
Andi:
I'm sorry- Hello, how are-
Conscience:
How are you feeling?
Andi:
Um, not great.
Conscience:
Has the treatment been working?
Andi:
Uh, I don't think so, no.
Conscience:
What are your remaining symptoms?
Andi:
I just- I internalize my feelings a lot. I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people. I feel like I just-
Conscience:
So basically you're still a little bitch.
Andi:
Yes, very mature of you disembodied voice way up there.
Conscience:
I was just joking, n*gga.
Andi:
All right, you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit.
Conscience:
I'm not human I can say whatever I want.
Andi:
Okay, just let's get to the point. What's wrong with me, please? Please.
Conscience:
Your emotions and your logic are at war.
Andi:
Okay.
Conscience:
Your creativity and your analysis are at war. And most simply, your left and right brain are at war.
Andi:
My left and my-
Conscience:
To fix the problem we must separate them from each other.
Andi:
Sep-
Conscience:
Splitting your neurological functions in 5... 4...
Andi:
Can we book an appointment or something?
Conscience:
3...
Andi:
You just don't start counting down to major medical procedures.
Conscience:
2... 1.
This may hurt a bit.
Andi:
I don't even know what 'it' is.
Conscience:
0.
Andi:
Just tell me what you're-
Conscience:
Isolation complete.
This is Andi's Left Brain: objective, logical, cold, analytical, aware of patterns, aware of trends, he's efficient, and a prick.
This is Andi's Right Brain: subjective, creative, sensory, aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot.
Right Brain:
That's your opinion. Just careful with opinions.
Conscience:
Okay, boys, play nice.
Left Brain:
I am the Left Brain,
I am the Left Brain
I work really hard
'Til my inevitable death brain
You got a job to do,
You better do it right,
And the right way
Is with the left brain's might
Right Brain:
I like Oreos and pussy,
Yeah!
(Yes, in that order!)
And I cried for at least an hour after
Watching "Toy Story 3".
(Woody!)
I am the Right Brain,
I have feelings!
I'm a little all over the place
But I'm lustful,
Trustful
And I'm looking for somebody to love...
Or put my fingers in.
